Porn use v/s addiction? Also, hello!

[burnedout]

burnedout, if one is a PA or a PA's SO, how can one be neutral towards P use? Reading the four points you've outlined you have to say that you're falling on the side that P is detimental to your health; how can that be deemd as a neutral stance? All those things(and more) will eventually happen to an habitual P user!

Metalfossil

I can only say that P use has been detrimental to MY health (though I still believe it's a symptom of an underlying problem, and if I had faced that problem head on rather than taking the path of least resistance, I wouldn't be here now). Okay, you're right, I'm not neutral; I think P is bad. I think it's stupid, and boring, and exploitative. Even as I was lost in the thick of it, I always felt there was something vaguely irritating, disturbing, and upsetting about it.

I'm just saying I can't tell JennyBunny or anybody else what to do regarding her partner's use of it. All the things I listed happened to me, but that doesn't mean they'll happen to everyone else who views P. I used to smoke cigarettes, but giving them up took absolutely no effort on my part. It would have been more difficult for me to remember to go out and buy and a pack of my favorite brand than it would to just not bother.

That may seem hard for some people to imagine, but it's as hard for me to imagine someone just taking or leaving P. But I can't assume that everyone who uses it is going to develop a psychological (and maybe physical) dependence on it the way I did. I can only say here's what COULD happen, and then ask people to consider carefully whether they want to risk it.

John

[waterlily327]

Hey Jenny,
People here are sensitive to anything about p*** use because so many of us here have been significantly and negatively affected by the p*** industry. Some of us are addicts, some of us are partners, but we are all here for the same reason: to get better. Even if you are not experiencing the negative effects of p*** use, I hope you can take something out of our experiences. I am only 22 years old, and have already experienced the negativity that p*** can have on a relationship. I believe that you found TTF for a reason, even if you do not need it for battling your significant other’s p*** use. I hope that from the stories here, you can take away ways that you can develop the necessary open communication and boundary setting to prevent the p*** use from becoming a serious problem in your relationship.

I would strongly suggest reading through some of the articles posted here to educate yourself about the p*** industry. Reading how many p*** stars were abused before and during their work in the industry, were or became drug addicts, or acquired s*xually transmitted diseases because of their work, in addition to the high suicide rates seen in the p*** stars, has really formed my opinion about how I feel about p***. Before looking below the surface, and knowing it made me uncomfortable, I was not so strongly against the industry. You must form your own opinion, if you are ok with it or not. I can only share my experiences, but knowledge is power. Please educate yourself about what really goes on before you decide where you stand.

Jenny, TTF is a wonderful supportive community (even if we seem overly protective of our own). I hope you get something out of your time here, even if you decided it is not the place for you. Good luck with everything Jenny!