My Job?

[veevee]

I am a new here and just learned that my spouse of 14+ years has a pa and has had for our entire marriage.

I am under alot of stress at my job and I am managing alot of lying manipulative people who are always trying to back stab everyone else.
I was promoted to this position 5 days before my spouse came clean. I liked the job during those 5 days but now it is just overwhelming.

I feel like every aspect of my life is dealing with liars and I feel like I am going crazy. This job takes me 45 minutes to get to and the hours are retail and horrible. I can't keep up with the housework and taking care of all 6 of my kids. I don't even have time off to grieve the loss of my marriage as I knew it before(he is not living with us)
My kids are sad cause their dad is gone and at least one of them ahve been sick every day. i can't give them what they need because of the time spent at work for very little pay.

I want to quit and take a bartending job up the street. The money is about the same but the hours will be less and, I will have a sitter to watch them and I won't feel like I am missing as much being away when they are asleep. I need something that will keep me home during the afternoon hours to cover thier extra activites.

It needs to be soemthing where I can make more than 10.00 and hour(which I am making right now). It is closer to my house and I jsut want a job where the stress is less..I cant stand the drama. I want something where I can still continue getting my BA(I am a full time college student..I go online). I cant stay at this job and do school and do everthing else.

Peopl are telling me not to make any serious decision right now but I cant help but feel like I am going to go crazy at this job. My spouse is yelling at me telling me I am being irresponsible if I do this. He tells me I am just being a wimp by not "putting my head down and barging thru what I am dealing with"(these are his exact words)

Is this just a reaction? Is it bad to take a job that appears to be a dead end but frees me up to better myself with education? Does it appear that I am running from my self inflicated failure at work(i am makeing mistake after mistake and I am being written up tomorow) self inflicated because my emotional trauma is following me to work. I can't control this..right now this is what I am.

I have talked to my boss and they are saying they understand but they aren't working with me at all nor are they giving me any breathing room.
Any advice would be appreciated.

[JenMac]

HI Vee!
I can't advise you but I can tell you that the trauma you are experiencing is very real! You can't just get by it quickly! I am sorry that you have all of this on your plate. I know for me, I had only myself and my job to worry about and I found it overwhelming in the beginning.
People are right about not making hasty decisions but you must do what is right for you at this time. I was going to suggest that you explain to your work that you are going through a difficult personal situation but it seems that maybe you have already done that.
So sorry Vee for all your are experiencing! Is there anyone that you can depend on in your life, it sounds like you may need support through all of this.
Thinking of you Vee!
Jenn

[mell]

Hi Veevee, and sadly, welcome to TTF.

Bottom line, you have to do whatever is best for you. My advice would be to at least consider it for a couple days. Maybe see if you could get some time off so you can clear your mind and put all the pieces into place.

If they promoted you, they must like your performance. So you have that going for you right now. And, you have a very valid reason for your recent performance. If they aren't willing to work with you, then you at least know what the future will hold with this employer.

There are a lot of SO's here, I'm sure they are in a much beter position to comment from your side of the issue (I am a PA).

Whatever happens, I encourage you to keep coming back to seek support and start your own healing.

[rosie]

Oh wow.. your husband has a hyde doesn't he. ~X(

Do what is right for YOU, I am sorry but I don't really think your husband can be relied on as knowing your best interests right now.

Why wouldn't you change jobs? Less stress, same money.... it seems sensible to do so.

Take care of yourself please! You are important and need to be your #1 priority.