Do you trust your partner?

[stillandagain]

thank you all so much for this post.
i feel like ALL of your stories are my/our story
i am on such an exhausting roller coaster of hope/suspicion/anger.
probably mostly anger and hurt
i think i am doing "fine" (yes, I know the acronym) and then it hits me, and its so discouraging and sad.

trust? I don't even feel like I can leave him alone! that will have to end soon. but its not as much that kind of trust as it is his developing trust of himself.

we are trying
i am trying
do I trust that HE is trying?
at some point I must - but it will be a guarded trust at best (and is that trust?), probably for a very long time.

the lying has been so consistent and skilled
(even though his getting "caught" and suffering consequences for the few "caught" times has also been relatively consistent, too)

his automatic impulse is to lie
next impulse is to wear a mask, to not merely avoid

THAT is step 1! to not lie! Its HUGE step

sorry, I woke up hopeless and scared
and sad for the ME that I lost and am trying to find again

[stillandagain]

i need to come to terms with the fact that i cannot trust him
he is not yet honest here, either
which makes me wonder about his honesty with me

folks here say I cannot trust him
i want to
i want to believe his intention
but his reflex is to lie - to hide, to withold, to tell a partial truth

he thinks he has "hit bottom" but my greatest fear is that the bottom is far, far away, for both of us.

as if what has happened hasn't been enough

this is SO scary
and so sad

[SoSick]

I don't trust my H at all about this. Was always reassured this would never be a problem after we got married and it was a lie, always saying "I don't want to hurt you" but then going back on everything we agreed to do, telling me it's nothing to do with me but then saying I can be angry and upset/use P to spite me and make me feel bad for my own flaws, sneaking around and waiting for me to just get up leave the house or go to sleep so he can sneak some in. I don't trust him at all and he knows it too. He is a complete liar and just doesn't want to fess up to the guilt [If he even feels any at all.] or the truth that he is always choosing that over me and never having the patience to wait for me.