Teen porn (not underage teens) - is it ok?

[Danzar]

Hello. I am new here but desperately need some help.
I found out in May my husband had a porn addiction, 2 months after I married him, 6 months after I gave up a really good job and moved away from my family for him.
He talked me round, in his eyes we moved on, in me - I hurt and hurt and felt depressed betrayed and very miserable but kept it to myself.
I got pregnant in July and at 7 weeks had a miscarriage. 2 days later I found an email in his deleted box from a site you register on for meeting up for sex.
I left him for a day twice to see what he did on the computer - he watched hours of porn, but no more meeting for sex sites.
I confronted him about the porn, he talked me round and agreed to go to Relate about his porn addiction.
It took about 6 weeks before I got him to Relate. He talked the Relate therapist round and convinced her that his mind set had changed and he wasn't interested at all anymore. She didn't want to see us a second time.
I carelessly got pregnant straight after my miscarriage. I'm now 14weeks.
My husband went about 9 weeks without looking at anything 'rude' on his computer (I wont go into how I know this), he may have looked elsewhere I dont know. He then started to look at pictures every now and then over the next few weeks, nothing much.
Yesterday I discovered that on Thursday, after about 3 months of not looking at porn on his computer, he spent 40mins watching porn while I was unwell in bed. On friday morning, another 15mins while I was downstairs.
***Then so very disturbingly on Saturday, again while I was washing up after lunch - *Removed*.
Should I be worried??? Some of the images that came up were so very very young, though he didn't seem to click on any of the child looking ones. After this I noticed the porn he has been watching was labelled '*Removed*'. My husband is 34.
I'm so worried, please help. Is this normal for a porn addict? What if my baby is a girl? Can I stay with this man? But if I leave him, he'll have rights to see my baby and I wont be there to protect it.
He's once again ripped out my heart.:((
Thank you for listening.

[Crisodian]

Danzur,
Welcome to TTF. PA discovery is hard. No nice way to put it. I am the SO of a porn addict who has been in recovery over a year now.

First and foremost, if you think your husband has a problem with porn, he probably does. It sounds like, from what you shared, that he has relapsed back into his addiction.

You have some hard choices to make and things to think about. While I can't tell you what is right or wrong for you to do in your situation, here are some things to think about:

1. If porn is a problem for you in your marriage and your home, then you have a right to tell him it is not acceptatble behavior. It's YOUR home too, not just his. It's YOUR marriage as well, not just his. If this is something you do not want in your life, then you have every right to ask that the porn use stop. Immediately.

2. You should confront him about the most recent events. A lot of SOs here at TTF find it invaluable to write a letter, detailing out what you have learned, what you will and will not accept, and what porn has done to you and how it makes you feel. Putting it in writing, often times, helps the PA to "see" what thier actions are doing.

Also, in my opinion, if you think your husband has crossed the line with his porn use, which can happen, then you should confront him about that as well and encourage him to seek professional help, sooner than later.

3. You have a right to set boundaries and expectations. You have a right to ask for the porn use to stop and give an ultimatum if it doesn't.

4. No matter what happens, you should seek healing for yourself. Even if a porn addict can't or wont accept they have an addiction and seek help for themselves, porn use is very damaging to the SO as well. Seek help for yourself. TTF is a great place to start. You will find many others here who have walked in your shoes and down this path before you.

Find peace and healing.

~C~

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

danzar,

Crisodian gave you lot's of useful information. The only thing I would add is that if he is looking up teen stuff, its illegal. If it is in your home and he is caught, you could be held liable too. So, protect yourself first and foremost.

I wish you well and pray things get better for you.

[NewHope10]

Welcome to TTF, Danzar.

Yes - Cris gave some very good advice above! Just know that you really are not alone in this.

Keep coming back! You will find so many here very helpful and supportive who know exactly what you are going through.

Be well!

[Cupcakemomma]

Ditto what all of the other ladies have said. Glad you found TTF, it can be an invaluble support. >:D<

[Life-lies-trust]

You are dealing with a really tough issue. Here is hugs and chocolate for you.