How did you communicate with your PA?...

[NewHope10]

Thank you so much, JENN for clarifying. I now understand what you mean by "gentleness".

LIFE-LIES-TRUST...you are absolutely right. I cannot make him communicate with me and I cannot "make" him be open and honest either (as much as I'd LOVE to be able to do that!). But if he doesn't...I know the road it will lead too, and he knows what my boundaries are.

JENN, CRIS and MELL all spoke about keeping my anger in check. You are all right. My H is not going to want to approach me and discuss anything (especially of a sensitive nature) if he thinks my reaction is going to be a heated one - or on the flipside...I fall apart.

Aside from the "discovery"...I haven't had another outburst in anger. What happens with me is I get any yelling done all at once - and then that's it. I might hold onto the anger for a while...but that subsides. Its also very difficult to have an argument when they other side doesn't argue back! I'm kind-of chuckling about that one right now. Can you imagine just "giving it" to someone who doesn't "give it" right back to ya? I don't know about you...but I can't do it.

You have all given me so much to think about...and that is exactly what I did today. I really thought about absolutely everything you had to say.

Something else happened today too...I cried a few times. Not a good old fashioned cry yet...but I cried. With so many things to digest and so many thoughts and so many feelings...and so much hurt...I cried.

I cried not just because of what I was feeling...not just because of what has happened...but because my H feels shame. Oh my new dear friends...it breaks my heart that he feels that way! On the one hand - he is the one who brought that upon himself. On the other hand - I love this man and when you love someone...you do not want them to feel like that.

Oh yes...my emotions have been flip-flopping all over the place today. From one end of the spectrum to the other.

Anyway - I think I got off topic there. Sorry about that.

You all had excellent comments and advice on this subject - and I will put them into practice.

Thank you again!!!