Steve Jobs and "freedom from p-"

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

I am an SO. When we first started recovery in Nov, my husband put filtering software on the computer. It was kind of a joke really, since he had been using the computer in the base library and not necessarily from home. I told him it was the illusion of safety, since I knew he could go look at P anywhere. But, it was an action, which was more than he had ever done before, so it helped in the sense that he was finally showing more than just words.

I do however, believe that filters can be helpful for people starting recovery. It makes you think for a minute before you commit the act. To me it strips away the excuse "I was in a daze, I didn't know what I was doing" because you have to think to get around it. So, it may not encourage honesty with your partner, but it should encourage honesty with yourself. Honesty with yourself is the only way you will ever give it up anyway.

[artist]

I am also new at the So of a PA thing, but I have also dealt with an ex alcoholic husband for 9 years. In my own experience, I did have alcohol in the house and I won't monitor, check or filter anything on my PA's computer, tv, etc. the reason being, I don't want to be a cop. I found that my AH drank anyway - usually outside the home until he came in to pass out, and my gut feeling is that unless my PA really wants to work on recovery he will, hell, if I tried to monitor what he did at home he could buy a secret laptop. My point is they do what they do whether you want them to or not. If the addict can't control the addiction, certainly I can't. What I can decide is how much I will deal with their decisions. In the case of my ex-husband I had him removed from my household. In regards to my PA I'm letting him decide through SAA what the heck he is going to do.

[Noname1969]

I attempted to install filtering software on the internet router, but found that AT&T's U-verse hardware makes this a more difficult undertaking than I had anticipated. As of now, we have filtering software on my husband's laptop. I never could get the right combination of settings on my AT&T U-verse setup to restrict the content at the point of entry, but I have not given up on that.

I don't know what kind of router you use, some routers you can change the DNS service. Even if you can't change it on the router you can do it on your computer. OpenDNS is used in many schools to block porn and other sites.
It is easy change the settings. I don't know if you use OS X or windows but there's a way. Also you will want to make a limit account which your H can use so he can't change the DNS settings.

OpenDNS | Internet Navigation And Security

https://store.opendns.com/setup/


I suggest you change it on each machine to make sure it's not messed around also block proxy sites and make sure there's no proxy software on the computers.

You do need to signup for opendns. There is a free version. You will see if he is trying to connect to P sites if you use this service correctly. It's a wonderful tool to block P
Also any sites he go to you will able to see it and you can manually add sites to block, in the free version is limited.

I have found Opendns very powerful filtering tool. I have never ended up on a porn site if I had it enabled. The list of sites for filtering is updated, not only by the company but by the users.