(not) Just my opinion

[JenMac]

I have been reading a lot lately on here about the differences about men and women on their view of s3x and P. I can understand the views that men generally seem to be more into P than most women, how it is believed men are more visually stimulated and women need emotional connection.
While I can concur to these generalities to a point, I must address something that has been bothering me. I hope I can address it without being too graphic. I have limited exposure to P so forgive me if this is in any way naive or stupid, but when I discovered this in my home I did a little research of my own on my computer to see what was available at the click of a mouse. I was astounded and sickened by what I saw in a very short amount of time. What I saw immediately was not just the s3x acts, the women or men involved but the absolute abuse and degradation of women. Let's be clear about what we are talking about here. The P that is available today on the internet is not like the magazines of the past with just pretty women flashed over the pages. It is a scary place where people are used and abused and treated like garbage. The captions alone tell the truth about the business.
I have a difficult time in understanding how this cannot be screaming out to people how devastating this is to the people in this industry. How is it that the violence seems to disappear to the thrill of the s3x? I have read that the s3x renders the violence invisible. i guess that must be true or the many people who fall into this would see it and think of it for what it truly is. The only people truly benefitting from this industry are the ones who are profitting financially from it. It is a scary thing that this is so prevalent and that this is what our young people are growing up with.
I do not mean to offend anyone with this post, just felt like I had to get this off my chest. If this is in any way inappropriate, please remove the post!
Jenn

[Crisodian]

Jenn,
There are some great articles out there and other posts that address exactly what is bothering you.

First, you are right. This "industry" is scary, huge and controls a LOT of what we all have been dealing with here. Additionally, they target the young. Like you, I fear for my sons when they get a bit older.

There's a great post here with an article link - The Truth About The Porn Industry

and if you really want to read some disturbing facts, look here - Porn Downside By the Numbers. Disturbing.

And I am sure there is more, but the links escape me at the moment. :)

Peace,
~C~

[JenMac]

Thanks Crisodian,
You, of course, are absolutely right! This has been addressed here and I have read those very posts. I have learned a lot since coming here.
I think the recent conversations, in my mind anyway, seemed to have neglected these facts. Perhaps it's just me and my thinking of the moment.
Thanks for the response!
Jenn

[Crisodian]

Jenn,
This issue needs to be revisited over and over, IMO. Why? Because it keeps it fresh in everyone's minds. It keeps the information alive so the next person who comes through here sees it and like us, has an eye opening experience with what the true cost of P really is.

It's important. For ALL of us. :)

Peace,
~C~

[Life-lies-trust]

IMHO this is not just the P industry but also the everyday people that post their pic, videos, etc. for free access. This is the really sad part that the addict does not need to pay for some of the P but can get an eye full for free.

[JenMac]

LLT, You are right! but I consider it P, just the same whether it is free or otherwise. In my mind it is the same thing!
Jenn

[Crisodian]

I think we've all been desensitized to it as a whole. I got an add in the mail the other day, from a source that will remain nameless, and it was borderline P in my opinion. I was furious. And this is sent through the US mail!

Ugh.

Peace,
~C~

[maggie]

Ok...I must be emerging from my week long depression because this thread and the articles I've recently read have me anxious to reply.

The new level of abuse and the degradation of women in p today is astounding. Yes, it is uncivilized, animal like and disrespectful beyond imagination. Yet, from reading the New York Times, and the writings from some researchers and crusaders for family values, it seems the new wave of p is just that. Abusive, yet, the women are smiling in all of the photos and clips.

One therapist was quoted in the NY article on her remarks about some of the new, most popular trends ( activities ) in pornography. She said to a male counterpart,
" If you think a woman really enjoys that ....why don't you let a few men do that to you and see how much you enjoy it "

I think what gets lost here is the cold fact that porn performers are paid actors in a filthy business. Let's face it, if the performers really enjoyed the unusual sx activities they smile through, they would be in a closed off, quiet room doing this for their own enjoyment instead of performing on a set, and struggling in wigs, makeup and high heels in front of a lighting crew and camera crew!!

The ones that perform in really abusive clips, are usually drug addicted and desperate for money, but there are many young, naive women thinking they will become huge, wealthy stars in the film industry.

The fact that so many...not all.. young men are exposed to and interested in p today, also skews the view of the average young woman today. One of the researchers was interviewing college women and many echoed the same complaint; that their boyfriends look at these photoshopped images of pornographic models with obvious cosmetic surgery and other enhancements, and wonder what is wrong with them.

This cannot be good for a young person's self image in an already over the top body image focused nation. Some of the college women said that they can't compete with the images that their bf's are looking at and enamored by. Some of the females admit that they try to chase that fantasy image by dieting, eye makeup, hair extensions and the flashy nails, but realistically admit that their skin is not flawless and they have pimples and enlarged pores !

I never before made this connection as to why young women today are dressing and acting so provocatively. It's the evil feeding evil. Many of these young women are striving to mimic the airbrushed images of the women that entice their boyfriends. They go to extremes in hair, makeup, nails and dress to create that unrealistic image.

So, I guess young women are just as baffled and confused by porn as the young males are today. It really is an impossible task of trying to become something that is not real. Striving to be someone that is not real. Pretending to accept and enjoy something that you honestly feel is offensive, in order to sustain the myth.

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

It is also still sickening to me because of the HUGE double standard. Women have to live up to these unrealistic P standards, and even just magazine standards and TV sitcom standards where the female has to be attractive and flawless and the male can be a complete fat schlub with no goals or ambition yet he still gets the girl. This is becoming more and more pervasive. And then I read on TTF how PAs find their partner disgusting or less than satisfactory and act like she should change to be more appealing when they are just as unappealing and it never crosses their mind that 1) its their mindset causing the problem, and 2) why should a really hot woman be interested in average you?

OK, rant over.

[Life-lies-trust]

LLT, You are right! but I consider it P, just the same whether it is free or otherwise. In my mind it is the same thing!
Jenn

I completely agree with you. My point was that it is not always something that they pay for. My H used all the free stuff and did not collect because it was hard to track and easy to hide.