The moment we'll never forget

[Cupcakemomma]

This poem sums up everything I have been thinking and feelin the last 3 months in one simple artistic statment. Amazing talent comes from heavy places or at least my mentor keeps telling me.. I have yet to be able to produce the words neccesary to accuratley depict where I am, but this piece is inspiring. Thank you so very much for sharing your moment for us all.

[artist]

I was shocked at how the young the teenagers were too. THAT is the image I can't get out of my head.

[debv]

I don't have a single moment I'll never forget. It kind of built on me, I'd coerced him to give me a list of s3x fantasies he wanted and some of them were way out of line of normal, at least normal for 40-something, white-bread me. Little did I know, what he asked of me was tame given what he was watching.

That took me down a road of wondering how he could want those things, what would make him think of wanting those things? I found he had friended an old girfriend on FaceBook, someone he had dumped me for years ago, and I thought he was having a cyber affair with her, and that's why. He had friended her a week or so before he gave me the list of fantasies. It all seemed to make sense. And when I confronted him about the cyber affair, he said no he wasn't having one, and so I asked where he the fantasies came from. And he said "Porn." And I was so shocked, and possibly so relieved, that it didn't hurt, not yet. What hurt was the next day, when I started to put two and two together, and realized the P had gone on for years, and years, and years, and that it explained everything. And I confronted him again, the next night, and he admitted to the P used, and he blamed me for being sexually unresponsive, and had the gall to say I was selfish sexually because I never offered him sex acts while I had my time of the month.

I guess that's what I'll never forget. He was a PA for 14 years, yet the first thing out of his mouth when confronted with it was that I was the one who was selfish sexually.

[fishingbackwards]

I was also "blamed" for his use of porn as I was (according to him) not meeting his needs. Today he had the balls to accuse me of imposing my values on him in spite of the fact that he kept his porn use secret for the year and a half that we were together. He threatened to leave or did leave about every 7-10 days. More than once that was because of a conflict over sex. But, of course, I was the one that was imposing my values on him.....He even had the balls to tell me about all the other women he has been with when I pointed out to him the things he did to me that I objected to but he continued to push.....
I have asked him what I was supposed to do- was I supposed to have s&^ with him even when I was frightened by his controlling and abusive behavior? Since he won't answer this question I have blocked his e-mail, unplugged my phone and it will stay that way until the divorce is final.
He is a sick man. The porn is just a part of it.