PA effects on SOs

[Alika]

For the purpose of having an overview of the physical, emotional, psychological, psychosomatic etc. impact of PA on the SOs, would you please help me compile a list of the symptoms that the SOs experience? Thank you.

I’ll start it here with what I’ve so far noticed:

• Loss of appetite
• Weight loss
• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Insomnia
• Nightmares
• Hyper alertness
• Tension
• Headaches
• Immense sadness
• Anger

(There is a similar post on PA effects on PAs and withdrawal symptoms experienced)

- Alika

[jrock123]

based on what my wife has told me, I would add the following:

feeling of inadequacy
lower self-esteem
betrayal
cheated on

jrock

[Charly22]

Starts with feelings of betrayal, asking for it stop, realizing it's not stopping, arguing, fearing, paranoia, suspicion, not trusting our own judgement, feeling not good enough, all of those feelings turn into "fear". Fear of it happening again, fear of not being good enough, daily checking, becoming obsessed with checking, controlling, trying to make it stop.

The "fear" becomes a constant state of mind....

which leads to state of anxiety....

which leads to:

panic attacks

muscle tension

high blood pressure

stomach issues

chest pains

negative thoughts

being afraid of even the littlest things

constantly living in a state of fear (even though you think got it all under control)

I remember when all of this started for me, I just didn't want to believe that my problem was "anxiety"......I was always able to handle everything, always looked on the bright side and knew everything would work out, how can I "miss positive polly" be suffering from anxiety. And how could something mental cause such physical symptoms. I didn't want to believe it, I thought it meant I had to admit that I was weak mentally, I was "crazy", or suffering from a mental illness.

But it was all true.

Until I realized that I, myself, was exagerating all these symptoms, they never went away, they built and escalated, worse and worse. Until I admitted that my constant state of worrying, fearing, tension, stress was becoming bigger than me, nothing improved.

Had to take the time to practice all the techniques that I used to think were corny or just a bunch of bull.....the slow deep breathing......yoga........thought control......the letting go........in order to protect myself and let my body heal.

It's soooooo true.......the screwed up state of mind we find ourselves in from this addiction will take your body down, turn it into a big ball of nerves. Constant hyper sensitivity. Finally realized he can't fix it for me. I have to!

[LostOne]

These are some of the things I've dealt with:

Sadness
Anger
Resentment
Loss of s* drive
Feeling worthless
Feelings of "going crazy" (from dealing with stories/excuses that change from one moment to the next)
Loneliness (friends / family don't know what's going on, having no one to talk to)
Increased illnesses (stress greatly depresses the immune system)
Being hyper-aware of SO's mood and actions
Losing self-confidence
Depression

[heavysigh]

I addition to what everyone has posted, these problems festered until I had a near complete distrust in everyone around me and I developed social anxiety. My life is ruled by fear and I've been out of the loop so long that I don't know how to connect with others anymore. I feel like they can see it on my face.

I've been feeling like all these problems are outside and in no way related to this. Coming here I see how every tick in my head has been controlled by P. I felt insane for feeling like P was driving me insane! If that makes sense.

[vintageturtle]

some things I've felt:

insomnia
fatigue/heaviness
loss of appetite
eating for comfort
anxiety
isolation (I can remember not wanting to go out for a walk with my kids because I would feel so exposed)
paranoia (I thought maybe this was all some joke or test)
nausea
difficulty concentrating (or rather, difficulty concentrating on anything other than the problem)
irritability
mood swings
hypersensitivity

[Hopeful]

All of the above.......

Feeling isolated was a big one until I found this site.

[vintageturtle]

I forgot to add... mental fog (how appropriate, haha). I was forgetful, easily confused, and at times, I would have trouble with basic things like spelling and simple math.