New and so incredibly sad

[artguy34]

Crisodian,
Its the showing her how much I love her that's hard, rightfully so she does want me coming near her....hopefully time will heal my mistake and she will be able to forgive me.

Hey Nat and Sorry... I wish these were different circumstances to welcome you, but unfortunately, we're all here for the same reasons. With that being said, Im glad you both are here at TTF seeking help and healing. I firmly believe that you both should be here together in order to work on your relationship.

@ Nat, even though you feel an "infringement" in your space, I hope you open up to the idea of having your (H) around. It should help knowing where he is at and the fact that he is reading other posts to see that both you and he are not alone in this. If it were not for TTF, Crisodian and I would probably have never made it this far.

@ Sorry, even though you wish to hold your wife and "show" her your love, keep in mind of the damage she has endured. Keep that visual of her hurt expression on her face as a reminder of the pain she is going through as a tool to keep you from relapsing. In addition, as PA's we must understand that "showing" our love is more than just holding our wives and being there for them. It is our actions in how we truly seek help for our addictions, how we interact with them now, what we are doing to PROVE we are being honest and not just saying it.

One point early on in my recovery, I had told my wife I was going to do something, and lo and behold, I did not follow through with it. Immediately it ruined the little trust I earned back in a second, because it brought her to the point emotionally where she was before she gave me her ultimatum. That totally hurt me to think that I messed up like that. And I didnt even relapse! But it goes to show that there is more to the marriage than the P addiction that needs to be worked on. Again, actions speak louder than words.

I hope you both work this out together and please support each other in both your recoveries! I wish you both the best!

AG