www.pornaddicthubby.com

[clog]

I came across this site www.pornaddicthubby which seems quite good and is aimed particularly at spouses of PAs. But it's actually quite insightful for PAs as well.

One thing I particularly liked was the 'porn healing paradox', which can be found here: http://www.pornaddicthubby.com/WhyDoIFeelThisWay.html . It explains why partners going through an attempt to recover from PA can have such divergent feelings: the PA feeling excited and positive about the newly-found truthfulness, honesty, accountability, while the partner feels deceived, shamed, unloved, insecure. Worth a look.

Not that I want to draw people away from this excellent forum, but we need all the resources we can find in this battle! :)

[FoolishMind]

My cybersitter software is blocking that site! How ironic!

Clog I think it is great to point out and share other good articles and resources you find.

However another reason why this site is good, it is not so obvious i.e. www.throughtheflame.org (not obvious what the site is about)

And most filtering software will block anything with the word P*RN

[Light]

Here's the page Clog is referring to, if you guys are having trouble viewing it: (hopefully it's ok to post it here) http://www.pornaddicthubby.com/WhyDoIFeelThisWay.html

The Porn Healing Paradox


He Recognizes His Problem with Porn And Is Getting Better So Why Do I Feel Worse?

He
* Feels a new level of honesty and truthfulness
* Has a new level of appreciation for the marriage bond
* Finally has the accountability he was looking for
* Loves her more than he ever has before

She
* Feels the level of his disloyalty and deceit more intensely
* Is saddened to realize how little the marriage has meant to him
* Senses the shame and secrecy of being married to an addict
* Has never felt less loved,valued or secure

Bottom Line: He wants congratulations for something that makes you want to throw up.

The emotions listed above are true and valid for both the man and woman yet are polar opposite. Why does this happen? He has been holding these feelings for a long time and is very familiar with them. It is a welcome relief for him to disclose his secrets and come clean. Sharing his burden with you means you now get to grieve over the loss of the relationship as you knew it to be. You get to feel some level of the shame he felt. You also have a finely tuned sense of distrust towards all of his actions. Welcome to the temporary insanity that healing from a porn addiction brings to a couple.

Be aware of the porn healing paradox as both of you move forward. Share this with him so he understands and appreciates your viewpoint as both of you work on becoming whole again. He needs to continue to earn your trust. And you need to continue to work on healing yourself and becoming open to trust again.

[cmperry]

I am married to a pa and I cannot tell you how much pornaddicthubby.com has helped me. For the longest time I was convinced I was crazy and jealous until I found that site. It makes me feel like i'm not alone, which (may sound stupid and selfish) really helps.

[Loving_FGL]

Hey I have visited this cite before it is a great site I am glad you guys have found it too. There is a lot of good articles on it that are published often. I hope thiis site has been as useful to you as it has been to me.