A SO's point of view: how Porn makes me feel

[Charly22]

I keep having these random thoughts, that at the time, I wish I could write them down, these short sentences that sum up my feelings pretty well, so, I'm starting this thread, and hopefully can keep adding to it, so these thoughts won't get lost, might be beneficial to someone....and others can add too.

1. Knowing you watch porn makes me feel "rubbed out", erased, left far behind.

[Loving_FGL]

2. It makes me angry and it feels like your cheating on me.

3. It makes me disappointed b/c I expect you to be the good man who you are when your not consuming your free time with p.

[jerseygirl]

4. It makes me feel very unattractive and that I don't turn you on anymore.

[lovesherman]

It makes me feel so alone and undesirable, sad, angry, cheated and ripped off... and I miss my life and myself the way it used to be... before I even knew about P.

[Not_ur_object]

6. I feel like I'm not good enough because you look at these women who are damn near perfect...and you remind me everyday that my skin is pale, my waist is thick, my legs are chunky, my arms are flabby, my hair is stringy, my face is starting to break out, my boobs are sagging and I need a shower. These may be jokes to you...well HAHA...they stopped being funny long ago. Even if all or some of these are/were true, you don't say that to the woman you say you want to share your life with.

I just feel ugly

[Learning to Trust]

I feel undesirable, unwanted, sad, insecure and lonely

[Miki]

I feel duped.

I feel like you have settled for someone who can put up with your addiction.

I feel like I've settled because I am afraid.

Every day I get older- the women you want stay the same age or get younger. So much of my day is spent wondering when you are going to decide that having porn in your life is more important than having me in your life.

[johndonato]

Miki my wife tells me this all the time, but here is what I tell her and this is what is true for me. PA is not about having an affair or wanting another woman physically necessarily. Pa is a SA.
Lusting someone or seeing them as a part not as a whole is a mental
disconnect. I didnt look at woman because I wanted to stray, I looked to fill some need inside of myself that this satisfied. Its not you its all in his head. I know it doesnt help but age has nothing to do with it. Looking at P is about a distorted view about S.

JD hope it helps a little

ps I married a beautiful thin younger woman and it didnt stop me from P. Its not you its his issue......

[Seeking Calm]

It makes me feel unwanted and undesirable
It makes me question our whole life together
It makes me angry as hell....
Ask your P star to have your children, c-section and all
Ask her to take your children to speech, gym, b-ball
Ask her to buy your mother a freaking birthday card!!

[Miki]

Miki my wife tells me this all the time, but here is what I tell her and this is what is true for me. PA is not about having an affair or wanting another woman physically necessarily. Pa is a SA.
Lusting someone or seeing them as a part not as a whole is a mental
disconnect.

JD,

Your response is truly appreciated and I don't mean to offend, but-

Though I agree compulsive use of P is a mental disconnect and an addiction, the consequences of the mental disconnect amount very closely to what a physical or emotional affair might.

To refer back to the topic of this thread...

P makes me feel that time together has been stolen, and that makes me feel cheated on.

P makes me feel that all manner of resources (money, emotional availability, a healthy sexual response) have been drained, and that makes me feel cheated on.

P is shrouded in, and derives a lot of its power from secrets and lies, and that makes me feel cheated on.

P makes me feel that though this is his problem, his choice, the fact that he chooses P over our life together time and time again makes me feel cheated on.

I can rationalize his behavior all day long, but this tread is about how P makes SO's feel- and it makes me feel angry.