new member. my storyy.

[jenlynn90]

hi everyone!
my names jen and this is the first message board i've come to for this. My boyfriend is like many of your husbands/boyfriends and addicted . Were in a long distance relationship which makes me feel so helpless when he 'messes up'. hes completley ready and willing to change , its just been a really hard journey for him. his last girlfriend a year or so ago gave him the ultimatem (sp?) to either quit or they would break up. well he couldnt seem to do it so they broke up. im not like her and i realize its a serious problem that cant go away without a lot of help and support. im doing all i can to help him and weve started keeping a calendar recording his thoughts/accomplishments/failures each day. this addiction is interfering with his life so much and id give anything for him to be able to get over it.it hurts him so much and it also hurts me to know hes looking at other girls in intimate moments and i feel like it makes me not good enough, i know he says he doesnt feel that way and i believe him, but its still really hard.

~X( if anyone has tips of how they help their husband/boyfriend please share and when something works for us ill be sure to post. hopefully i can start writing on here often and get to know you guys. thanks!
-jen:)

[Dominus]

He is a lucky man to have someone so supportive. It sounds like you are making steps in the right direction already. One thing I will say is for him to accept that there are times coming when he will feel like looking at porn and the desire will be so strong that it can surpass all reason, he needs a strategy for dealing with these temptations that is as foolproof as possible. If it is the computer that presents a problem then a lot of members here have success using accountability software or blocking software (I think K9 is a good one). Getting rid of the computer is a often ignored option that is quite effective.

[Charly22]

My advice (and I am certainly no expert, just feeling my way through the dark here, like you). You have to stay supportive. Anger and bitterness will push him away and he won't hear anything you might suggest or need. A fine balance you will need, between staying tough, and not allowing it to be too easy for him, and being supportive. Hang in there