An Upbeat Update!

[dray]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been gone for a while...we decided to put the computer away while going through the abstaining/withdrawal from P period. That was a great idea and we both took the time to work on ourselves for the duration.

The "drying out" time severely tested our relationship. Tantrums, threats to leave (by both), anger, resentments, not speaking for days, sleeping on the couch, etc. filled our days and nights. We survived.

Things are incredibly different now. The computer is back and P-free. Now we spend our time attending SA and S-Anon meetings, individually and as a couple. We each keep a journal and both have sponsors who have been extremely helpful. We've made friends in the programs and talk with them frequently, go out to eat with them and hang out with them. That's wonderful (we all know how isolating this addiction can be) but the best part is our new way of communicating with each other.

Our relationship is becoming close, loving, respectful and accepting. I feel like we're a "team" now...and both playing on the same side! Neither one of us wants to leave now...I feel a sense of true commitment. We can actually talk through a problem or concern without raising our voices or running away...something we were unable to do in the past.

I'm proud of myself for staying through the dreaded "drying out" period and I'm proud of him for REALLY doing it and becoming an honest and caring man, something I always knew he could be. Now I can see it before my eyes, and it's great.

I'm still working on my shattered self-esteem and trust, and he's still working on openness and his own self-esteem, but it's clear we're getting somewhere. It's been worth every minute of the hard work to get to where we are now. Patience was the key to this...for both of us. We both wanted to run away and escape...but love for each other kept us from doing that.

I'm so glad I stayed.

[CaveInimicum]

That's great to hear!

Congrats, happy for you both, and please keep us updated! >:D<

[Avegan]

I am happy to hear this Dray. I've not been online much, had a lot of things going on lol, but glad to come back and read this!!