Through The Fire

[ShannonErin]

Hello All

I know that i have not posted anything in some time, although this site was my crutch and saved my relationship i wanted to post an update..


Well it has been sometime since the fallout between me and my fiance. Although through the last post things have been so well. Although since June there has been 2 slip ups and for once it was ok. After a realization of what he was trying to do,(by not doing it) i could not be upset by the slipups. I did see the pain and guilt in his eyes and knew that i could not make him feel worse cause he was trying, not just for us but for him. And things have been so much better then they have been in sometime.

I just want to tell everyone out there that is still struggling that its ok. Things can get better it just takes time and will. If your significant other does love you and is tryin, try to be understanding with them and their problem dont make them feel worse when they have slip ups if they show remorse because they already feel bad i can almost guarantee. But for those that are still hurting hold on it can get better.


x0x0 ShannonErin

[willimakeit]

:) that post made me feel better! thanks for being understanding and supporting your SO. i don't have a partner, but if i did i hope that they'd be understanding like yourself! i guess i should have told my ex everything, but the idea of her going off the nut at me scared the sh*t out of me.

take care and i hope it works out for you.

[ShannonErin]

thanks for your reply and im glad that i was able to shine some light into your situation. And i cannot lie i def had my times where i freaked out but eventually i was able to hold it back and be more understanding:D

[dray]

I would much rather hear the truth than be lied to again, even if my partner should slip. I'd make every effort to be understanding and I know he'd feel very bad, bad enough without any help from me! Thank you for this post.

[ShannonErin]

Well of course everyone would like to hear the truth. But i have learned that over reacting a bit and freaking out everytime hinders them from coming clean and being honest. Its just like when you were kids. You lie cause you dont want your parents to yell and holler at you. And with my fiances last slip i looked at him straight up in a store and said if you did its ok ill understand, and he was honest upfront the very first time without a fight. I will admit i was crushed but we talked about it and i was able to move past it and see how he was making progress, from watching P everyday, to a slip up about once every two months and in my eyes thats trying, so i couldnt freak out at him because he is trying.

[willimakeit]

yeh, i agree, people over-reacting can have the opposite effect from what they want. i definitely (now) think porn is what causes a lot of problems in relationships and i'd go as far as to say society as well. i understand why people go off their heads and act like it's the end of the world on some issues and i'm not sticking up for PA and saying that what we do is ok, it'd just be nice to know that there was someone to turn to and talk to without the fear of getting shot down, laughed at, rejected, especially when you want to beat your addiction. sometimes having someone to support you emotionally is what gets people through because most people aren't strong enough to go on their own (in my view... sorry if this is a wrong opinion :s).

if i get another partner and haven't managed to beat my addiction i hope she can be understanding and be their for me and not when it's just convenient for her... although i'd like to beat PA before i get another one, lol :p

loads of high fives for you and your fiance and good luck!