Raising children in today's world

[cmperry]

Well I am now 17 weeks along with my first child, a son. I'm very happy and very afraid. How do you protect them from something you want them to know nothing about? Now I'm not a censorist, except with this, the one thing America won't seem to censor, I mean come on, we censor EVERYTHING else. How are families supposed to even drive down the road when the billboards are just as disgusting as the places they advertize? How can I teach my son to respect women for who they are and not what they take off? How can I along with a man known for disrespecting women teach him this is not the way?

[Avegan]

I've thought about this myself, it worries me when i get round to having kids how i will cope with this issue. I wouldn't know how to go about protecting a child from this, it's everywhere. Only last week we went into town and a there was a place with lap dancing advertised all over it, a group of men were standing outside saying "oh wow lap dancing we'll have to go in".. etc. Argh :(

[cmperry]

It is very frightening, I make myself sick worring about it. I think such adevertisments should be unlawful, I think they may actually be to some extent, but it doesn't look like that is enforced. And could you just imagine the questions as the little one begins to read? "Mommy, what's a lap dance?" "What is a gentleman's club?" "Why does a video store need to be open 24/7?" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Avegan]

Yes exactly! And when you go into shops and there's magazines with it on the cover... i know most are on the top shelf so kids can't really see it, but i know they aren't in some shops as i've seen them! My boyfriend's addication started when he saw pictures in a newspaper his dad was reading.

I hate the term "gentleman's club"... i certainly wouldn't call it that.

[cmperry]

I agree, not very gentleman like at all. And I know what you're talking about with the mags, even ones that are not XXX are innapropriate at best. And in alot of gas stations they are on eye level of children, if that's not enough you have all the internet ads on the popular sites that pretty much directly link you to it. Have you seen the commercial about that particular site where the slogan is "It's ok to look"? Wow huh?

[Avegan]

I haven't seen that, i'm shocked!

Yes the internet is another big problem, that's where my boyfriend's addication really kicked off and got out of control. When kids are old enough to use the computer i'd definatly put a very good P blocker on the computer, but still, who knows what happens if they go to friend's houses etc. :(

[flame2amoth]

I remember and still deal with my daughter being overweight.
I am a mental health counselor...have worked with sexually and physically abused children and their families(mercy, how ironic right!/:)) Anyway....my concerns for her was mixed with the fear that she would go the other way and exchange my concern for anorexia or bulimia. Poor child, she chose me for a mom, lol! And why did I think that...well, dang, all the messages we send in our society....seems there is another good arguement/link to PA....Being a counselor, I am surprized that there is still a controversy whether porn can give birth to addiction.
But I had to reframe my goal...and I did it by addressing her health..ie: juvenile diabetsis(spelling:D:D) And now she is 19 and just looks healthy...wont ever be a Super Model, but she looks healthy and that is beautiful!
I had to be healthy too...we are definitely our child's...and everyone else's childs' role model. It is frightening...but I guess if we set down and focused on all the crazy stuff in this world, its a wonder we care to have children.
I am here now on TTF to gain Health, in all its forms....From one mother to the next...stay healthy, fight the good fight, and Love with all your Heart.

[cmperry]

Yes but even P blockers don't block adverts, my husbands addiction lies within the internet as well but will find other ways if it's unavailable. The world is becoming a very akward place, I wish I could see it again as I once did, but I fear those days are gone, I cannot see the world as the place I used to see it as, I think I may be taking some sort of anti-femminist approach to life anymore.

[cmperry]

Society puts so much pressure on young girls today, it's implanted early that over 115lbs is un-pretty. I don't know how I would raise a daughter in today's world, no matter how much you tell her she's perfect, the rest of the world tells her she is not. My sister said to me once it takes the entire village to raise a child, every person they meet will have some sort of affect of the person they grow up to be. Maybe I should just be amish.

[Dominus]

Some things we just cant change, like adverts. Others we can like their associations or the things they are given to read. I try to teach my children to have self respect, to do what they feel is right and not just what everyone else tells them to do. I tell them stories about people whom I consider honourable individuals. Children imitate their parents, how you act will often influence how they act. Knowledge is their best defense, what you don't teach them they will learn from other less reliable sources, so I would suggest rather than leaving it to their schoolmates, start quite young explaining to them about things like 'gentlemens clubs', so that the mystery and intrigue is removed. Children are very curious, but their curiosity quickly subsides if you are open with them. So if we are open and frank about sexual matters along with explaining the responsibility and choices that go along with such things then it wont seem like a big deal to them.

Thats my take on things anyhow! Congrats on the baby, I remember feeling just the same way when my daughter was born.