Lack of sex with PA (sigh)

[brokensoul]

i have to agree with last post
but i to be open about what i've been reading in this forum
my issues came from the other side of the fence
i love my partner tried to be loving but due to her meds and other issues
i jumped down the rabbit hole
if i use p i could get my fix not have issues
just move on
the problem is just looking at p was not getting me the same thrill
i started to send comments to the people who put up the photos
she found my hiding place and thought i was out playing around
the fact that most of the post i've read say the the pa has no sd
are hard for me to understand
with my problem i always had the want and used p because i didn't have an outlet
i do wish to thank my SA for finding my little hiding place because if things had keep up like they were going
i my have done some dumb things
just wanted to but out anotherside of the story
if i'm out of line
please forgive
every one stay strong>:D<

[lovesherman]

Rowlf

Thanks for the post. You are right, I do have power over my actions and I cannot change anyone else. The catch is right now it is hard to live my life fully and well, when I haven't even addressed the issue with my PA. about this problem and he is the biggest part of my life. Its hard to be well too right now. It always goes back to the P. I love this man more than I could ever tell you.
I too am wondering about him moving in. Perhaps I am making a mistake. He will either be doing P if he lives with me or if he doesn't. I know that. It might not be the most healthy move for me... but we have been planning this for a while, because it will help us financially. ( I am putting 2 kids through college and so is he). I guess I will know that soon enough. He can always move back out. I want to be supportive in his choices and mine so I will give this a try. One day at a time I guess. Thanks again.

[Chey143]

I'm just now reading this and I'm also new here, but my instincts tell me to tell you to run, run, run away as fast as possible.
As a person struggling in marriage number two over these issues, I have wasted so much of my good heart on these selfish men.

At some point, it's about accountability. Honey, we deserve better.
Keep looking!

[Searching4peace]

Quoting Lovesherman

Thanks for the post. You are right, I do have power over my actions and I cannot change anyone else.

I think that is a very healthy statement!

The catch is right now it is hard to live my life fully and well, when I haven't even addressed the issue with my PA.

You need to discuss this before you devote yourself to a full time relationship where you will be surrounded with his addiction all the time. I speak from the experience of knowing that pushing it away and ignoring it will only make it worse when it does come out.

about this problem and he is the biggest part of my life. Its hard to be well too right now. It always goes back to the P. I love this man more than I could ever tell you.

He is the biggest part of your life, I to felt this way for a long time about my soul mate...but finally had to step back and realize that to put someone before your own health, mental and physical welfare is not healthy. You say you love this man more than you can put into words? Have you taken the time to ask yourself does he feel the same. I know what I'm saying is coming across as harsh, I just want you to plan before you jump and be educated into what you are going to be putting yourself through. Making a relationship work with a PA is HELL, doable as some of us have proven, there is life after PA....but you need to know now if it's worth the hell to get to the end. Is it somewhere you actually want to be?

[lovesherman]

I finally have addressed it with him a few times. We now have been living together for 3 months. I am no longer ignoring it and I am putting my mental health first by doing so. I know he loves me more than I could tell you. We have been in love for 30 years. He was my high school sweetheart. We have always loved each other and acknowledged it along the way and got back together 2 1/2 yrs ago. We both always knew we would. Unfortunately things, like P, happen in life, and it tries and tests the relationship. I have addressed the issue now a few times and I wrote him a letter and gave it to him on Tues. I am no longer silencing my feelings and thoughts. I do believe he is worth this hell. No, this is not where I want to be, however, beside this, he is everything I could have asked for... sadly this particular demon is going to be a bitch to fight and win. Who knows, it may well end this, but I have to try on my part. Now its his turn. I do know though, I am willing to try to work through this and love him to the best of my ability. He needs to own this and take responsibility for it. The ball is in his court I guess.

[Moonbeamtag]

Dang...I'm feeling like the outsider here for sure. I don't even want him to touch me after he has been online for p. Why would I feel the closeness, or the desire to please him when he hasn't considered my feelings at all...? The last thing I feel like doing is slipping into a sexy lingerie so he can pretend that I'm someone else.

I guess I expect something on a deeper level.... s isn't what it's all about. What about intimacy ?