I don't know which way to turn?

[troubled]

I am almost certain my partner has a porn addiction but I am not certain. When we first moved in together, he would often stay up til 3 in the morning and I know that sometimes he would come up stairs to see if i was asleep or not. He says he was just playing on his PS3. After a few months I was getting suspicious so i decided to start checking his pc history and low and behold the history was full of porn sites. I kind of brushed this off and carried on as I thought that alot of peolple liked looking at porn and it wasn't really that abnormal. It got to the point that he was staying up late all the time and never coming to bed at the same time as me so i decided that maybe there was more to this than meets the eye. I checked the computer again and I discovered that he had been looking on singles website for sexy chat/ web cam action that sort of thing. I then confronted him about this - he swore blind he didn't know how it got on his pc.

Then a few weeks later after nothing I checked his computer and on that particular day I could see in the history he had saved a picture of his ex girlfriend of herself in a bikini top which had just been taken off her facebook page. Once again I confronted him this time he couldn't really deny it so he admitted that he had saved it and said he didn't know why he did it. This is when I confronted him about the fact that I thought he had a porn addiction. At first he answered by saying that he used to one when he was single. Then when I quizzed him on it later he completely back -tracked on his original answer and virtually denied it.

There have been so many other instances like the fact that he has two computers and he only uses one of them when I am out. The thing that I don't understand is that I know he really does love me and he is indeed very affectionate towards me and our sex life is loving maybe once/ twice a week. So I just don't know what to do next as although on the surface I appear very happy underneath all of this iI'm actually going insane. Does he imagine other girl's when we have sex? I'm pretty sure he spends most of his time alone looking up porn - I just don't know what to do anymore...

[soooosad]

I only have a minute but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone and you are not crazy (though it is certainly "crazy making"). I think you are on the right track and you have come to the right place (throughtheflame.org). There is lots and lots of wonderful information and insight here.

Hang in there - this site has made a huge difference in my life, I am sorry you are going through this - but know that you truly are not alone and that there is help and HOPE! Oh, and the most important thing to know and remember is that it is NOT your fault, it is NOT about you (this is still a hard one for me!!!!)

be good to yourself - ss

[Searching4peace]

I also don't have long, literally just a min. I wanted to tell you "you are not alone"...I mimic SS when I say this site is a great step for you to take. I'm out of town for a few but I'll catch up with you when I'm back...I'm sure the rest of these guys will take good care of you in the next few days. Don't be afraid to ask questions, or make comments...

We're here for you,
Peace and love,
Crys