question to the ladies.

[HalfPint]

Okay, first off, this is a question I'm asking the women here on the forums.

Okay, so I know this girl, really pretty, smart, nice, she believes in the same things I do and is quite easy to get along with. lol, she also thinks she knows a little bit about everything and then kind of likes to pat herself on the back sometimes, but that happens.

So, this girl, I asked out a while back. Gave her roses on valentines day we ate out a couple times saw a movie. things kind of started slowing down, we were never "dating" rather figuring out whether or not we were right for each other.

Well, a "friend" of mine was talking to me, we were smoking cigars back when I used to smoke, and he said "you know, she was talking to me, said that you were too inside the box, you this, you that, blah blah blah, and she only wants to be friends with you". Being an idiot I believed him and kind of went my own way. not even 3 days later I see him carrying her back out of school flirting with her. (he was the first guy I ever swore at).

Well . . . they started dating (he said they were dating 2 or 3 weeks before she did lol) and then he pulled some stupid crap and she said "lets calm down for a little bit" because she was having diabetic spells and it was because of lack of sleep and he took it as "we're through" and he walked out on her, broke her apart. She said no one has ever hurt her more than he did.

We were playing pool together with some other friends and we both took our turns and I sat down next to her. The others were going and she looked at me and said "you do know that dan (his name) and I aren't dating anymore right?". I hadn't really said anything to her that day let alone anything about dan. Her and I talked about what happened between her and him and some other stuff the rest of the night (thats when I learned he walked out on her and hurt her like he did).

Now, being that I'm a guy, and I don't understand women, I need help on this situation. Do I take that as a hint "I'm not dating anymore and would like to try "us" again" or should I take that as "I'm tired of not talking and this is something to talk about" or should I take it as something entirely different?

[cmperry]

Well that sure is a tough one, as a woman I can tell you it's possibly all of those things. I've been dumped before, but never by someone I truley loved or cared for it was all puppy lust feelings that were fairly easy to get over. But it does sound like she is having a bit of a rough time with health and emotions. I wouldn't be to soon to rush into anything, if you really like her and think that the two of you may be able to make something of a go in the future, keep talking to her. It's possible she may be in a very vulnerable spot as this other guy has hurt her, which if so is not a good time to start a relationship, but it is a good time to further your friendship and try to help her through this rough spot and in turn that may grow into something more! I hope this helps wish I could've given you more of a straight answer but I think thats as straight as it gets!!!

[stingerD39]

Hi,

I'm with cmperry on this one. It could be either or, but you should take your time with this regardless. You need more info, and it doesn't seem like you have it. If something is not right by your instincts, it usually is wrong. I'm not saying to discount the whole thing with this lady, but I would take this relationship at a slower pace than usual.

[showmelove]

I'm not a lady, but I want to give my view anyway. I hope you don't mind, well you're a moderator so delete it if you want. Maybe so far this girl hasn't been that into you from what you are describing but from now on this girl wants you! :D Now I don't care if it's the truth or not. As long as you decide to believe that you are better of than if you are trying to figure her out. I met a girl the other week and she was sending so mixed signals all the time that I would have gone nuts if I was to figure her out. So I decided I can't try to figure her out, I'm just going to assume she wants me instead, now maybe I'm one of those annoying guys that assumes that girls are interested all the time. But you know what, I don't care, and I don't believe I'm annoying at all. When I think about it whenever I have this belief it gives me courage and fun interactions with women. Best of luck...