Poetry

[cmperry]

Ok I don't really remember the ends to any of these I post but as I remember them I will edit.

Around-Cmperry
You loved me like noone ever loved me
I adored you like a star
I gave you my heart and soul
I gave you my endless love
But you hurt me, you left me with a killing pain
A burning passion of hate, A scar that will forever remain
The toll taken will never be forgotten
When everythings done and over
We will never be again and yet we will never die
I don’t understand and yet I don’t ask why
But that’s the way the world turns.

[FoolishMind]

There was a day and a time, that my world was just me.
The endless seek for pleasure. A pleasure, just for me.
I thought not of my wife, not of my child
I thought less of my life, and less of my world.
I sought my selfish highs, I shared my nasty lows
I polluted my mind
‘till I could consume no more
I chose to start a new
No more pictures
No more filth
Just No more
My heart now beats with peace
I share my world, I share my love
I am a man with a cause
A new heart
A new love
A new name
I have gone ‘Through the flame’.

by FoolishMind

[cmperry]

Ok this was written years and years ago, the end I just rewrote today for I couldn't remember what it was, so it may seem to not go together, I get it but I'm weird like that haha

Illusions-Cmperry
Depression grows, everyone knows
A hateful thought glimmers and glows
Once a friend, a supposed sister
With actions not far from sinister
Painful lies bring me down
Taking all that is good,
Stripping me of my crown
I do not fit here, I am so lost
The price is set I’ve paid the cost
My heart my mind my soul, left behind
Plummeting to the darkness falling faster
Out of control, I can’t see myself anymore
I cannot see beyond this fog I am frozen to the core
Numb from all I’ve seen numb from all I know
I have fallen, so very far below
I cannot climb out, I cannot escape
I just linger and watch my pain take shape
Forming itself into that which I cannot deal
Everything seems fake, nothing is real
It’s all an illusion, it’s all just a game
Truth or dare, for they both bring shame

[Vorlan]

Great work Cmperry and FM! I love the poetry, I can really relate to the poems too, thanks a lot for sharing them!

Keep it up! Lets shower TTF with poetry and songs!

All the best,

Ben

[FoolishMind]

Time to end this
How and when?
Right Now!
Obviously this wont be easy
Under constant temptation
Guard yourself
Think positively, although remember
Highs can be followed by lows

This is your battle, so focus because
Happiness will prevail
End this now,

For you choice will determine slavery or freedom
Love yourself, love your life
And enjoy all that life has to offer
Maybe, just maybe, you will reach a new level of inner peace
End this now, and don’t look back.

[Avegan]

I've been writing poems to help me get through this. I wrote this one last year when i was first getting to terms with things and blaming myself. It's written as someone else going through it, not me.

Dear love, I write this letter, in tears, before I go
It explains all of my feelings and the things that you should know
It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I can’t take the pain
I love you dearly honey, so here’s why I’m to blame

I’m sorry I’m not as pretty as the girls that you stare at
And I’m sorry I’m not skinny, but I’m not exactly fat
I’m sorry that you need to look at girls in short skirts
And I’m sorry you can’t understand just how much it hurts

I’m sorry that my body isn’t all that you desire
And I know you won’t tell me the truth, I know that you’re a liar
I’m sorry that my breasts are not like those on the internet
The ones you sit and stare at, while I lie in bed upset

And I’m sorry because I know that I am not enough for you
And I’m sorry that I ever thought that our love could be true
So I leave you now my sweetheart, won’t bother you again
And I promise I’ll stay true and not look at other men

I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m sure I’ll find a way
You’ve made it all too clear that you don’t want me to stay
You’ll be happier without me so I’ve taken all my things
I’ve burnt all of our photographs, and I’ll leave behind my ring

I’ve left your dinner ready, it’s just warming on the side
And I’ve washed all of your clothes, and some sheets I’ve left behind
The spare key is in the bedroom, on the shelf with all your porn
And I will write to you a letter, when our baby is born

I’m sorry i’m not perfect, but I’m all that I can be
And I’m sorry that you have lost all interest in me
I’m sorry it ends like this, but I feel your love has died
So for now my sweet, I will say goodbye.

[Avegan]

Another.

When i was Something.

The sky was always blue and clear,
The days were always spring,
I felt alive and well,
When I was something.

I’d walk around the streets and smile,
I flew on angels wings,
I was happy with myself,
When I was something.

I had found a man to truly love,
A feeling from within,
Together we were great,
When I was something.

Then one day I had found out,
About his secret sin,
I fell apart to pieces,
I was nothing.

He would look at it behind my back,
Even when I was there,
I knew he had a problem,
I was scared.

I told him how it made me feel,
And he said that he would cease,
But I kept finding more,
I needed peace.

The arguments grew tiresome,
I couldn’t stand much more,
My heart was torn apart,
I was sore.

My emotions raced around me,
Anger, betrayal and sadness,
I couldn’t eat or sleep,
I was hopeless.

Images were engraved into my mind,
I must be going mad,
Tears trickled down my face,
Oh so sad.

The place I’m in is so alone,
Self confidence has gone,
I’m scared of people seeing me,
I feel wrong.

He says now that it’s gone for good,
That I need not worry,
I know that he will try,
I know he’s sorry.

But the hold on him is very strong,
Could come back at any time,
How can I trust him,
He might lie.

My mind is tearing itself apart,
My heart’s been broken from the start,
No idea where I am going,
I am nothing.

The sky was always blue and clear,
The days were always spring,
I felt alive and well,
When I was something.

I’d walk around the streets and smile,
I flew on angels wings,
I was happy with myself,
When I was something.

I had found a man to truly love,
A feeling from within,
Together we were great,
When I was something.

Now I cry myself to sleep at night
Because of porn’s cruel sting,
And I dream about the days,
When I was something.

[Avegan]

Last one!

If only i could sleep.

I lay awake a night again,
Darkness in my heart,
Wondering how to stop the pain,
Wanting a fresh start.

But a fresh start will never come,
The scars are far too deep,
My mind is feeling dull and numb,
If only I could sleep.

Sleep would take me away from this,
Into another place,
One where happiness exists,
And I’ll never be replaced.

I’d walk among the flowers,
And gaze up at the sky,
Then I’d lie for hours,
And watch the birds go by.

The sun would shine upon me,
The breeze would move my hair,
I’d rest myself down by a tree,
And take in the fresh air.

I’d watch white horses run and play,
And the butterflies that dance,
I’d watch the reeds gently sway,
And be sent into a trance.

Then I’d walk down cobbled streets,
Smiling at people I pass,
Seeing children eating sweets,
As they skip back to class.

Then I’d look up into the sun,
And everything turns grey,
I try so hard to run,
I wish that I could stay.

My mind flicks back to reality,
As I realise the painful truth,
That the dreams that I see,
Was how I was in youth.

And when I was young I dreamed of love,
But now it’s ruined my life,
If only I could be free of,
The anger, pain and strife.

I am in a lonely place now,
All because of porn,
And that my mind won’t allow,
Myself to be reborn.

I’m only in this hard position,
Because I’ve loved so much,
And now I have this condition,
My heart is in a crutch.

If people say it’s harmless,
Then why am I like this,
They’ve never felt my stress,
All they know is bliss.

They say it doesn’t hurt anyone,
Well why am I in pain,
All they’ve felt is warming sun,
And not the cold bitter rain.

The cold, dark side of porn,
Hangs over me each day,
I’m caught inside a storm,
And it looks like I will stay.

So I lay awake at night again,
The hurt sears down so deep,
I am in a lot of pain,
If only I could sleep.

[jasmine]

Acid Rain

The rain falls heavier here,
because these dark clouds hold it in, bury it deep,
until they sink from the weight.

And only then the sharp rain falls,
cuts, like barbed pieces of gray sky and lead
clouds, or shards broken into the skin, unforgiving.

The fiercest rage is rage withheld.
when the thick, wet heat of day suffocates the lungs,
and the road leaks low steam into the hills,
the first drops impatiently surge
from the still air, begin their assault
on the soft earth below.

Still, these clouds conceal
white-hot electric fury,
pulsating intermittently
inside.

Still, they swell with agitation,
and the realm of the unspoken,
looms dark, looms heavy.

The scent rises and circles on mixed winds,
hot and cool, that drag the bitter air to the fray,
where the acrid breath of heat and scorched earth
heightens awareness, until taste is steel rain
and touch is prickly-cold beads, condensation.

The deep groan of soggy air repeats its distant rumble,
resonating, barely audible, growing then subsiding,
echoing long into obscurity, blurring the distinction
between what was heard and what was imagined.

And then the red storm rises
not before us, but
within.

Jasmine Chiang
September 9, 2007

[illumination]

I loved reading all of those! It's very moving the way everyone has expressed themselves in poetry, expressing their emotions directly.

This is an old one of mine. It's about TV in general but I think it is particularly relevant here.

TV Shrine

Glassy idol in magnolia shrine,
Unholy triptych: speakers and widescreen.
Unthought principle of evil divine,
Your mind's eye absorbed in the war machine.
Your spine stiffens, slumped against a cushion.
The flickering vibrations hold your brain
In warm, sickly, sugar malnutrition
As programmes fill your evening again.
What terror drove you to this sacrifice,
This suicide of intellect at night?
Who said you may not enter paradise?
Who said you may not see the sacred light?

For in silence you would hear your own breath
And the still moment between life and death.