*First post* This is extremely hard...

[wolfadmirer]

It's Saturday night... and that means Im home alone. Naturally, most of the times that means I would have to look at P (I've checked a couple of other posts, and this appears to be the best replacement for the word, although I dont know why it is not explicitly stated...)
So..
I thought that maybe I should only write something instead of looking at it and..
*writing this is really hard*
I can sometimes go 3 weeks without it, but then the thoughts just come back. Maybe posting on a forum would help me? So far... 3 days sober...(...)

*I really don't know if this will help, but I really know I have to go ahead and try. I have been addicted to this for almost 3 years now.*

[Vorlan]

Welcome to the site Wolfadmirer,

It's good to see that you've not only realised that P is bad and you want to stop but you've also had the guts to post here instead. That's a brave thing and a good thing to do.

P is usually used instead of porn on the site because a lot of members have software installed which deletes it if they write the full word. It's also to make sure no-one is triggered at a sensitive time in their recovery.

I remember how difficult it was to make that first post, it's hard to think of what to say, there are so many different ways to approach it. The point is that's out of the way now. Now you can start you recovery, I recomend that you read through the site, most people here have similar stories and it is inspiring to read about the success and trials of others. I would recomend FM's journal: The truth is painful - but required - ThroughTheFlame.org - support forums and AE's journal: Three Hundred and Sixty-Five Days which are particularly good.

It may help you to start your own journal to give you a place to come and just write about your cravings or whatever you like to stop you from watching P. I found it to be a great help. It's also a good place to get extra advice and support.

I hope you have every success in your fight against P. You can do it, just keep positive and take it one day at a time.

Best Wishes,

Ben

[FoolishMind]

Hi Woldadmirer, and welcome to the site also.

As Vorlan, says there are many on this site that are in a very similar situation to you, and will be able to relate to yo difficulty after many years of being consumed by P, to actually share that secret on here. So for taking the courage to take the first step and actually acknowledge that you have problem here, is huge, and I applaud you for that.

Vorlan has provided you with some links to some journals on this site, Please also take a look at the Getting Started Guide as majority of the steps are covered here.

You say that "you really dont know if this will help" The truth is nothing will actually help you, if you do not want to help yourself. So first and foremost, you need to be completely clear on why you have had enough of PA, and why you want to rid it from your life. Without clear goals and objectives, there will never be determination to follow through.

Finally, with reference to your point about why the acronym 'P' is used rather than the full word. There are a number of members who still do post the full word, so please fee free to do so if you wish. The main reasons people use acronyms, is the main topic of this site is quite obvious, and reference to it may occur a considerable amount. So quite simply it is easier to press one letter on your keyboard that 10+

Please see this reference post for commonly used acronyms.

Wish you best of strength and look forward to reading your story and your journey progress.

All the best

FM