Finally posting

[Apollo]

Hey all. I quit the day before I registered for this board. The day after, I told my girlfriend that I was addicted and she understood. Since then however, I have slipped and not told her about it. Now I just deleted my collection again and posting here for help. I hope I can stave it off for good this time.

[fightingdefeat]

Hey Apollo!

Welcome to Through the Flame (TTF for short)! I am new here and just registered over a week ago, but in that short time I have grown in my knowledge and also in my determination. Reading about real life people and their circumstances along with voicing your own thoughts and struggles is a powerful strength in fighting this addiction.

My encouragement to you as you are finding your way around here? Well, I advise you start a journal in the "Recovery Journals" section. Writing daily about your emotions, thoughts, and progress is so helpful. It gives you accountability to yourself as well and helps you see without a shadow of a doubt where you were and where you are going. It helps track for you personally your victories and can be a huge encouragement in times of temptation. Also, checking in daily is a healthy reminder of what you are fighting and helps keep you strong and determined.

Also, read others' experiences and see what they are going through. There is so much to learn, both in practical ways to combat this problem, but also about the mental and physiological battle that is raging.

I look forward to hearing from you more and hope and pray for you as you take this step in recovery! I highly encourage you to stick around and take a stand against this problem! Develop a game plan and how you want to combat this. Taking steps like this are the best way to start the road of recovery. Let us know if you have any questions... I've discovered that the people here are incredibly supportive and friendly!

Take care my friend and welcome to TTF! Freedom is attainable!

[TYC113]

Welcome, Apollo! Glad you're here at TTF! This is an excellent site to get help for P addicts. And we are also hoping you can fight this off for good. Fighting Defeat's advice is very helpful and I also advise all of the things that he advised you on. But for me, I think that things can go deeper. I think that you should go ahead and tell your girlfriend that you slipped up again and explain what went wrong with her. I think that maybe you should ask her for help and ask her to be your partner in this fight. P addiction is just so rough to go through on your own. Without a partner in some way to help you out, it is just so difficult to overcome. Maybe your girlfriend could join the site with you, and be members. There are tons of couples on this site who help one another out and there is a couples' night every Wednesday. I am just throwing it out there.

But we are so glad that you are here, Apollo, anyway. There are so many people on this site and they all give great advice full of wisdom. They want to see you succeed, as do I. The toughest step has been made already. You know now that you have an addiction to P and have admitted it. The rest of the way is the road. Welcome, Apollo, and I'm hoping for the best for you!

[Apollo]

Thank you for all the kind words because they do help me. I will probably start a journal but not sure how consistent I will be with it.

[Disillusioned]

HI Apollo, and welcome to TTF. Just wanted to say that I have read that there are certain periods of time intervals that are more likely to see a relapse. I don't know where I read that, but it might help you to understand that. I have my head wrapped around the 6 month time, as one of the most likely time periods. I think confidence grows with disuse, and that is good, as we all want to feel this is gone, but with all the images out there, it is just too easy to use that confidence as an ability to say, I can look...this is mild, compared to the stuff I used to use, and wham....before you can say much of anything, you are grabbed and pulled back into this filth again. I don't know if you know this, but images and thoughts of s-xu-l material travel 2%faster than ordinary images and thoughts, so by the time you are thinking, I should put on the brakes, the cascade of chemical changes and neurotransmitters are carrying you right back down the chute. In despair, you start the cycle over again. As PAs and the wives of PAs, we have to accept that staying p free is going to be a challenge for the rest of our lives. Best wishes on your new efforts at recovery.