hello, every one!

[comet]

Hi, i am so glad to be here. It is winter but this community is so warm! Those days i have been reading the posts here and i find there are so many godly people, they are so kind and honest.
I really need to thank an admin who send me an email after i have registered. It feels so good!
Today i really need to deal with about my problems. i still didn't determine to break this addiction. I don't have the power to break it I remember i started using P when i was 17. At first i would feel guilty depressed and get very confused after using and MB, i would feel i am a worthless person, then usually i would throw P away and promise i would never use P again, but a few days later i still couldn't resist the temptation and M again. It is like a circle and i found i can not escape, because my brain can only remember the pleasure and forget the results.
P bring me a lot of troubles. I was being late because of P before. My study suffers a lot.
Last month there was a small P.E. Test and i missed it! Because the test started at 10;00 am. At 8;00 am that morning i was surfing the internet, Then i was tempted and i said to myself:" you can watch P for one hour then go to the test." so i gave up. I started watching and couldn't stop it! After P and MB i felt tired and could move so i just missed the test. How stupid! But a part of me like it, want it. That is why i can't stop.
Several month ago i got a MP5 player and i use it to watch P. Because i simply thought since i can't stop using it. I could try to reduce the time, so to avoid the problems( with a Mp5 player i can watch P at men's room, i never use P at my dorm because i know i will be caught. Before i had to go to a cybercafe far away.) but i have to admit i was wrong. I watch it more, because it is more convenient. last Wednesday i watched P for almost 4 hours! When you start doing it, you just want more and more and you can't feel hungry or anything.
Now, i know i have to change. But sometimes i get confused. I read some books to learn how to deal with P. Those books just list the pros and cons, why or why not should we have P, and something like "P is a part of democracy..." and they never gave me a conclusion and a way to deal with P. In a textbook named Human Sexuality, there is a chapter about P and its effects, and it even tells you how to buy P magazines correctly! What is the right attitude? How can i solve the problems?
Thank you.

[Timothy]

Welcome Comet. I just joined TTF also. It is a nice and safe place to come and share.
Yes it does become unmanageable and the desire for more and more increases and so does the guilt and shame.
I understand. I have to constantly be on guard , especially with my thoughts. God Bless you on your
continued Journey to Combat your addiction. Thanks for Sharing., TIM

[mell]

Hi Comet and welcome to TTF! Glad to see you here wanting to recover from this horrible addiction.

You described some pretty typical despair and unmanageability aspects of the addiction. Many of us have been there, knowing what it does to us, realizing the insanity, and still doing it anyway. P and S addiction thrive in insanity, until we can step back and see what is happening, it will consume us.

Please check out some of the recovery journals. There are many addicts here who have put together great plans and strategies and many who share their daily struggles. IMO, support is the key to recovery - we can't do it on our own. You can also start your own journal, and I would advise that. And get rid of that MP5!

Welcome aboard, hope to see you around.

[waterlily327]

Hey Comet, welcome to TTF! It is really great that you found this site…TTF has helped so many people, you are in a great spot! I have some suggestions for you getting started:
--Get rid of any p*** that you have, keeping anything for a “rainy day” is just a temptation you don’t need and will hinder your recovery
--Continue to read through TTF, the recovery journals, the SO journals, and the articles…a lot of people have great tips that have worked for them
--Start a recovery journal so we can follow your progress
--Don’t be afraid to ask questions/ask for help if you need it
--Be honest with yourself and, if you have an SO, with them
--Get an internet filter (I suggest letting someone else set the password…my fiancé and I use K-9 which is free, and I hold the password for him to further reduce temptation)
Good luck on your journey here! By coming here, you have made a great step towards recovery!

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Hey comet

I am very please that you have found this wonderful site, to get the much needed help, with this problem. As you already can see, you are in no way alone with this addiction, because there are so many with this problem.

You said that you don't have the power to beat this crap, and I say that you are wrong. if you feel you don't have the power to beat this, then you wouldn't have had the power within yourself, to come here in the first place to ask for help. any time, that you have doubt that this cant be done, just remember, that it is not Mr comet thinking this, but it is the beast, that is trying ti make you think this way. right now, this beast is upset with you, that you are here, because it now knows, that you are trying to kick him out of your life. So now, he will try to play with your head, making you think, that life is ok, if you have this crap in your life.

With the same power that you found within your self to come to TTF, use that power, to fight this beast with all that you have. the good thing is, that you are not fighting this battle on your own. As soon as you came here, and you posted what you did, all of us other addicts, are preparing to be on the front lines with you in this battle, to help you to come out a victor in this battle.

Waterlily, has given you some very good points to do, to help you in this battle. all that she told you, is the best advise that could have been told to you

Again, I welcome you, and we are here to support you the best that we can. You are now a part of a loving family here, and we are glad, that you are a part of our family

Good luck to you my friend. may God bless you in your efforts to rid yourself from this addiction

Gerald

[ocja0201]

Welcome Comet to the most helpful forum on the internet ;)

[Disillusioned]

Hi Comet,
First, I want to welcome you to TTF. It is a place for people of all kinds and ages to try to get a grip on something that has become a modern day plague. I am glad you found us and I hope you stay and learn and strengthen your resolve.

One thing that might help is for you to identify the times you are typically urged to use P. If you can identify these times and come up with something else, positive to do instead, you will be on your way with a plan. Many of our guys find that doing something physical instead of clicking on the internet helps. Some of our guys have to tell themselves, I can delay doing this for an hour, just one hour. At the end of the hour, you can try for a second hour. Keep talking, journaling, doing push ups or whatever else helps, but try to lengthen the time that you are away from this. My h read somewhere if you can delay feeding an addiction for twenty minutes, most of the time the urge will let up or at least diminish. You will also have to be aware of triggers. These are things we see or hear that make us want to run and use. Once you have identified what these might be, identify a way to avoid as many as possible. One way is the filter on your internet and any other devices that can access p.
P is all lies and it is big business making scads of money for the p purveyors, making young actors and actresses sick, ruining marriages and crippling our young people so that they have trouble even understanding how to relate to the opposite sex. The only one that benefits are the purveyors.
P uses our natural lust and takes it further than it was ever designed to go. The brain processes s-x-al images 20% faster than other stimuli and boy do advertisers use that knowledge to their advantage to sell everything from aardvarks to zebras.
Good luck in your struggle against this thing called P. I hope you will find the tools and encouragement here to help you on your way.
disillusioned

[comet]

Welcome Comet. I just joined TTF also. It is a nice and safe place to come and share.
Yes it does become unmanageable and the desire for more and more increases and so does the guilt and shame.
I understand. I have to constantly be on guard , especially with my thoughts. God Bless you on your
continued Journey to Combat your addiction. Thanks for Sharing., TIM

Thank you, Timothy. we are all freshers. we can support each other and i believe we can be free at last.

[comet]

Thank you, my friends. today when i come here, i find the posts and i feel so happy, so excited!i feel so gratitude for your caring. in the outside world, i can tell no one about my addiction. but here i can get the most selfless support!!!
today, i thought about those inspiring posts, and i examed myself: why do i think in this way? i found P not only bring troubles into my life but also it changed my values.
i heard people said sex is wonderful. but is it true? what is the difference between P and Sex? Does P just means sex?
is my desire for P is because of libido? Maybe it is not because of our normal libido. it is an unhealthy desire stimulated by P. i just read other members' posts. some said that because of P their marrages are in crisis. before i thought only unmarried men use P, after marrage, they will not use it. but it seems like it is not the case. P told you it can "spice up relationships", but according to the posts i have read, it is not right. i don't have a relationship yet, so i don't know.P told you it is ok to use P and every men are doing that. but i start to doubt it. several years ago, i discussed P problems with my classmates in high school. i remember they just say"boys will be boys." a guy was found having P under his bed and got punished, but he just looked like he did nothing wrong.
thanks for your advice, i have threw all the P in my Mp5 away.
in a word, i know first i need to change the way i think of P. i found there are two men debate in my mind now. one said P is dangerous, another said P is not so harmful if you can manage it, regulate it. now i try hard to convince me don't forget all the foolish things you have done for P, and your failure to manage it. i need faith.

[Disillusioned]

Hi Comet,
The most direct answer to your question about the difference between P and Sex is that s-x should foster intimacy, if it doesn't, it may be briefly rewarding, but does not fill that inner need we have to be truly connected to another person. This just can't happen in p.
Yes, married men get hooked on P. In the late 50's a man came along with an idea for a magazine or rag called PB, and he told men everyone deserved a woman like those featured in his magazine, and if they worked hard, earned lots of $, and were cool and sophisticated they could win a lovely lady like those featured. If they hadn't made it yet financially, they could look at what the really successful men would be dating. He fought the Supreme Court to make sure his rag was not shut down by obscenity laws and we had the beginning of the p mess we find today.
With a click of the mouse, you can see far more than this man ever imagined, and in the anonymity of your own house. You could have a willing partner any place, any time, and to suit your likes virtually. So, he and his fellows also promoted the idea that all men need diversity and that this is a harmless way to get it.
Much later, functional MRIs were invented. They found out that s-xu-l images travel 20% faster to the brain than others. Rats with electrodes wired to pleasure centers in the brain and attached to levers the rats could push, pushed the lever over and over and over again, reinforcing that pleasure pathway, increasing the need for the wonderful chemicals released during stimulation of the pleasure center till the rats were uninterested in anything else even food and a receptive female in the cage.
Hah! We now have p addiction.
Men believed the need for diversity, and all men do this, that they were entitled to do this because they were men. The women in the p sites never are tired from being up all night with a crying baby, they don't get bloating and menstrual discomfort, they don't appear to do laundry, cook, work outside of the p room or anything else, but appear hot and ready for any and every comer. So men began to experiment and sneak a look here and there. Soon that well developed pleasure pathway began to take over, so that even married men with really loving and supportive partners got hooked.
Hope that helped answer your questions.
TTF is a loving community where all members are dealing with the after effects of p addiction. Welcome and read and learn. Ask whatever troubles you.
Good luck
disillusioned