Hello all

[melsbach]

Hello all,

I'm new here to the forums. In all honesty, I'm not really sure if I'm truly addicted, but YBOP and this forum got me to thinking: maybe there's something to all of this after all.

I just want to explain a bit about where I'm coming from and what I've been doing. I hope the language I use isn't too explicit or inappropriate - I'm trying to be very neutral about it.
I never really liked 'traditional' P very much, preferring 'softer' images (non-nude models and such), which I'm not sure if that would still be considered P or not.

Since Nov 19th (best I can remember, anyway) I have voluntarily quit viewing those images as an experiment and to improve my self and power of temperance. That following Monday, I read an erotic story online, and decided to avoid those as well. That was 12 days ago, almost 14 for the soft images, and probably 2 or 3 weeks since I watched any female videos, and I'm finding it all way easier than I thought to avoid. I still MB, but I do it without P, fantasy (for the most part), or O. So was P ever an addiction for me? or just a bad habit? Either way, it's something I want to control for the sake of temperance, and help support others who are trying to do the same.

Anyway, thank you for taking time to read little ol' me's post

[waterlily327]

Hello Melsbach! I am glad you found TTF! Even if you weren’t sure you had an addiction, I think that cutting any and all forms of p*** out of your life is an excellent decision. If it was only ever a “bad habit”, by eliminiating that now you are opening up your life for happy, healthy relationships without the negative influences of p***!

I strongly suggest reading through recovery and SO journals. If nothing else, they will outline how devastating p*** is to individuals and relationships. TTF also offers safe articles about education on the negative side of the p*** industry, about the abuse the “stars” suffer (both physically and mentally), the high rates of suicide, addiction, and life altering/threatening diseases. If you go to the “Home” tab at the top of your screen, on the left hand side there is a link titled “Porn Addiction Articles” that has a lot of safe educational material included.

I think that if you found TTF, there is a reason. Maybe you weren’t addicted yet, but slipping towards that life. Either way, this is a great place to be. Ask questions, get involved, and start a journal here!

You did a good job with your first post, avoiding triggers. Here is a link to the TTF rules so you know where we draw the lines for future posts! Our goal here is to keep everyone safe in their recovery!

Throughtheflame.org forum rules

Good luck & welcome to TTF!

[mell]

Hello Melsbach and welcome to TTF!

I'm always glad to see people here when they recognize there is a potential issue with P. Whether it is an addiction or not, it seems to clearly be something you want to get away from.

There are different levels of habits and addictions. My experience has shown that over time, the need increases and the activities progress. Again, glad to see you here early on in the process. Even if you are not addicted, you are welcome here. This is a great forum!

Waterlilly gave you some good advice, check out the site and see what it is all about.

Welcome aboard, hope to see you around our community!

[Timothy]

Welcome! Thanks for your post, Melsbach. I've read and found to be true for myself that whatever materials arouse me and cause me to
desire to view them over and over again can be called Pornography. Doesn't have to be nude images like you mentioned.
I found my self looking at models in Undergarments and staring at a newspaper add . Yikes,Just to get that "Good " Feeling.
Your post was not Graphic, thanks, for your concern. Best Wishes, TIM

[Disillusioned]

Hi Melsbach,
Welcome to TTF. I am glad that you are interested in taking the higher road with your interthinking and your self-examination of what you use your time for. One of the worst things about p is that it involves depersonalizing or objectifying other people. I know it is now considered an old-fashioned idea of the warning that each person viewed on one of these sites is a daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin, friend etc. to someone else that would be terribly hurt to find their loved one involved in such activities, but it is the truth. Some of this stuff has to be painful,and it is all dangerous physically as in unprotected s-x, and dangerous as far as causing physical damage that his not recognized or allowed acknowledged...lacerations and worse.
The objectification of others carries over into real life, and the images seen influence how you look at real others in the workplace, malls, at parties...anywhere others gather. As human beings who are born as s-x-al creatures, we all have inner needs plus we are given a generous supply of lust. You can control the lust and live a healthier life, or you can feed it and have it consume you. If you are in a relationship with a significant other (SO), that person begins to wonder why she is not enough, and you have to go to p sites to get extra pleasure.
In time, p use causes remodeling of the human brain. Functional MRIs show that s-x-al images or thoughts travel 20% faster than other stimuli. The pleasure center of the brain is what is stimulated, and we are wired to repeat pleasurable events. Studies on mammals, rats, in fact, have shown that electrodes wired to the pleasure centers and attached to levers which the rats can press and cause self stimulation of said pleasure center, result in rats that press and press and press to the point of ignoring eating and receptive female rats. If you read about severe p addiction, there are those who end up in rooms with their computers unable to do much else, but press the mouse key to stimulate the pleasure center over and over again.
So, there is much to be cautious about in using p. S-x-al attraction is part of our natural wiring, and it is a strong reason to select a mate and maintain bonds, but p use can override this natural bond, and actually interfere with its formation. Since we are always subject to desire, it is very hard to give up, once addicted. How do you separate the two? What is healthy and when do we take our desire beyond where it is meant to go and be healthy for us? Human beings have never been subjected to the number of acts of in-er-our-e or n-d-ty that are now able to be seen in an hour of scrolling p sites, and we truly are a scientific experiment in progress as to what will happen to our society as this invades and pervades our thinking and values, so you are wise to question what you are getting involved in and where it is going.
Please keep reading in the general discussion session, and be alert and aware as to how advertisers use that 20% faster neural firing to sell everything from aardvarks to zebras. Good luck in making your decisions as to what you will invite into your life and your thinking, and especially your use of time. P is a terrible, terrible waste of valuable time, which will not be returned to you. It may not seem like it, but the clock of the number of minutes of your lifetime that remain has been ticking since your victorious cry at birth, and these minutes should not, in my opinion, be wasted in P.
Again, best wishes.
disillsuioned

[melsbach]

It's been about 3 months since I originally posted this - just wanted to post an update.

Somewhere towards the end of December (or around the 30 day mark after I 'quit'), I took a look at some photos - nothing h--d--re at all, just some l-ng-r-e models. Then I renewed my self-agreement for another month. "None of this for a month" I said. And I held onto that no problem at all. After my 30 day agreement, I used s--y images two nights in a row, then decided to go with no M or O for the entire month of February (extended to 35 days because of how short February is, then add on the weekend).

I have been able to resist these urges for approximately 3 months, viewing 's--y' materials only 3-4 nights at maximum (that's 97%!). As such, I don't feel that I am or was addicted to P itself (or what I would define as P), but I will continue to resist the urge to overly indulge myself for the sake of exerting self control and discipline.