Hello everyone

[life-cubed]

I almost can't believe I never figured this out myself!

A bit about me: I am 27, male. Have M'd for as long as I can remember, used to 'O' but not 'E' of course. I have always had images in my head while M'ing too. Even as a kid I assumed I was weird or perverted.

The one constant I have had for over 12 years has been P. I've changed drastically in other ways - eat very well, got in shape, and managed to attract girls, but E.D. and anxiety soon stopped me enjoying even thinking seriously about having sex.

I struggled with E.D. the last two times I got a girl to bed, feeling utterly humiliated, worthless, embarrased, and of course worried what was wrong. I did manage one amazing night but I don't know how!

I always put it down to a 4 year relationship I was struggling to get over - attachment etc.

Due to the E.D. I haven't even bothered trying to get a relationship for years, as I knew I would just freak out as soon as we headed upstairs.

After reading so many stories of improvement I am now over a week without P, 4 days without M/O.

I don't know if P is the only issue as I have struggled with other things like self-confidence/esteem/jealousy/anxiety but it can only be beneficial to leave it in the past. Especially with the big improvements in every other area of life I have read about. Maybe PMO even 'caused' these - who knows? It's always been there...

I hope you are all well and look forward to hearing from you.

[mell]

Hello Life and welcome to TTF!

You will find support and encouragement here and you will see that many others have some of the same issues / struggles as you.

Please read the articles and browse the forums. You can also start a journal in the 'Recovery Journals' section. You will get input from others - this has been a huge help to me.

You are among friends here. Keep coming back.

[life-cubed]

Thank you Mell all going well so far!

[TYC113]

Welcome, life, to TTF. I am so glad that you came and that you are doing all right. That is great. I am hoping that we can help you through this and can help you with your addiction. This site is really awesome for P addiction. A lot of the things that you struggled with I struggled with too with P.

[life-cubed]

Thankyou TYC113

I went to bed last night full of anxiety and craving M/O, resisted and was reward with a 'dry' sex dream :D Haven't had one in ages. This is one of the first things people report coming back. So happy :)

[waterlily327]

Hey Life-Cubed, glad you found TTF! I am a SO here, but I have some suggestions for you to start off your recovery:

--Get rid of ALL p*** you have, on your computer, movies, magazines, etc.
--Install an internet filter (K-9 is free, and works pretty well), and let someone else set the password if possible
--Make TTF a part of your life, post here often, and get involved
--Read the recovery journals and the SO's journals. Even if you aren't in a relationship at this time, I think it is really important to see the negative impacts this addiction has on others.
--Post here on TTF often! We care about how you are doing!

You have made a HUGE, positive step by coming here to get help. Good luck with your recovery!

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Life-cubed

I am happy that you are here, for help in this addiction. waterlilly has given you some very good tips for you to follow. everything that she said to you, is vital for a successful recovery

May be good for you to start your own journal, so we can help you. the one thing you will see, is that you are not alone here, at TTF. there are many here, who struggle with this addiction, and do understand what you are going through. by you starting a journal, and writing in it, good or bad, we can see what areas to try to help you with. We are weak when trying to do this on our own, but we are strong in numbers, and you have a full army here, to help you in your battles.

Good luck to you, on this road to freedom, from this crap

Your fellow addict
Gerald

[life-cubed]

Thanks all!

I will be frank, reading all about the benefits and improvements in quality of life is enough to convince me to give this 100%.

What do I have to lose by not trying, at least for some months?

The chance to knock one out in front of a computer, again?

Some how I think I can live without that! :D


To gain: Sexual confidence, experiences, and some inner peace, amongst many things if the accounts I have read are accurate.

I am very grateful for having what feels like the 'final piece of the puzzle' fall into place, and have no intention of squandering this amazing gift/opportunity. :D

8 days no MO, 11 no P.

[life-cubed]

I think I have hit the initial period of the blues. Now that does not mean I'm tempted to PMO, as curiously I'm not. I just feel fed up, although that could be about work issues or general tiredness.

Looking forward to breaking out the other side. I knew there would be rough patches, and that's fine.

Hope everyone is feeling well!

[IN NEED OF HELP]

I think I have hit the initial period of the blues. Now that does not mean I'm tempted to PMO, as curiously I'm not. I just feel fed up, although that could be about work issues or general tiredness.

Looking forward to breaking out the other side. I knew there would be rough patches, and that's fine.

Hope everyone is feeling well!

life-cube

Nice seeing you again my friend

I know what you are talking about in feeling fed up. you can be feeling this way for many reasons, but we need to always just stay on guard, and strong in our recovery. Just trying to free ourselves from this addiction, can bring on many emotions. Us addicts, has always fed our addiction, when our emotions were high, so be careful

This beast we are fighting, will do whatever it can, to be back in our lives. when he comes knocking at the door, don't answer it. I hope you are feeling a little better, and I wish you the best in your recovery

Your fellow addict
Gerald