First Post from a newbie

[Sick of It]

Hello,

Im so glad I found this site and have been reading postings for a few days now. Saturday was my last day with this crap. I have tried many times before and have been at this since I was twelve and Im 42 now. What a long long time. This is the first time I have actually reched out for support however. Im taking my committment to stopping this horrible habit to a whole new level. Somehow it makes the issue so much more real when you actually ask for support. The images, oh man the images, when do the images stop randomly popping into your head at the oddest of moments? I wish I never saw a single image in my life, I really want all this crap out of my head.

Now what is my next step???? I am willing to following suggestions and make a plan.

[JenMac]

Welcome to TTF Sick of It!
You have found a good place to be for support and guidance. TTF has many wise and helpful people who are more than willing to assist you to reach your goal of being P free. Nothing better than those who have experienced what you have to help to move in the right direction.
I encourage you to start a journal in the recovering journal section and let the healing begin!
Glad you are here Sick of It!
Jenn

[Teemo]

Sick of It,

I'm glad you found this site. There really is help available. What's the next step, you ask? Well, there is a lot to do. I'm not sure the exact order matters.

Can you get face-to-face help somehow? If you can tell someone about this huge struggle, and ask for their support, there is a great deal of power for change and accountability available to you. Maybe a counselor? Or just a caring friend? It's hard to share this problem, but it's a great help if you can do it.

What about filters? I would have little hope of success without an internet filter to slow me down when the urges are strong.

For me, God is the source of the strength I need to recover. My life is in his hands. If you have a religious faith, now is the time to turn to God. I don't believe God turns his back on us when we need help and ask for it, especially if we are just praying for the strength to do what we need to do.

You need a plan. Some concrete actions you are taking to get better. I use the Twelve Steps, as AA and many others do. Your plan may include actions you are choosing to take for your physical and emotional health. Actions you are taking to restore lost and damaged relationships.

Lots to do. I hope you will start a journal and share this journey with us.

[Sick of It]

Thanks so much for the caring support, Im in need of it for sure. Sharing my struggle with folks who get it helps. I really struggle just trying not to ogle at the mall, the gym, anywhere really especially during the summer months. I feel like I need a set of horse blinders. I know this is a normal desire, but can also be such a trigger for me. Exercise only increases my desire to view p. Don't know why. I have a great faith in god and am reling on him to change my thinking. I am a faithful husband and devoted father, p has to go. I'll be posting often and welcome all feedback.

[BestShot]

Hi Sick of it,

Welcome to TTF. I am glad you are fed up and are ready to break free from the chains of "P". I am fairly new here as well and have found this place to be invaluable. For me, writing and talking to the people here has made a big difference. I have been "P" free for a decent amount of time now....4 months, then 1 day of a slip and now about a month with no slips.

The urges still come and go but each time I get them I come here and talk or write. I also leave this website up on my computer all day so if I get the urge to look at "P" I just click and come to my refuge!

I am always willing to talk with other PA's so please feel free to send me a message. If you need an accountability partner I would be willing to be one....you can be mine too. I have another partner who has been helping me but can you have too many????? Doubt it!

Anyway, welcome aboard. Stay strong :)

BestShot

[HopefulsRock]

"Sick of it" says it all my friend... Congratulations on making the step to reach out and admit your problem, it's a huge step and you're the only one who could make it... well done! A long, long time indeed but now it's behind you and the further it gets behind the better you'll feel. Continue to read and seek guidance and help where you can so you can learn more and more and make the changes necessary to be the Man you truly want to be. It's a process and a journey and one that's well worth traveling my friend, congrats on finding this site and realizing your not alone in this journey!

[TYC113]

I am so glad that you found this site, SickofIt. This is a great site and I was so grateful when I found it too. I was grateful whenever I found the site too and still am to this day. I think everyone's advice is helpful here so far, and I would go as far as to say one thing only: Have a confidante. If you have someone, you mentioned you have a family, I wouldn't try to leave them in the dark over it. Better yet, I would tell them because they can be your accountability source. Be honest, and please ask them to be gentle with you. Don't let them frown upon you. It will make you feel worse and guilty, which never helps recovery. That's my best advice, but once again, I am glad you are here. You made the big step.

[Sick of It]

Words can't convey how great it is to know there is a place to go for support. This has been the most difficult struggle of my life. The frustrating thing is that I can go weeks without so much as a single desire, and then out of the blue, the urges hit me so intensly its hard to believe.

I have to realize once I start getting cravings, I toy around with it in my head, I have to do something different, if I sit there and just think about it Im done. Action is the key for me, I just wish I could remember this insight I have now at the times I get the cravings.

Its like Im a normal person most of the time but turn into this warewolf when the cravings occur. I have to chain myself to a chair before I turn into a warewolf and hope I don't rip the chain off! Pretty good analogy of what happens to me.

[lost_one]

Welcome to TTF Sickof..

YOU HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT PLACE
YOU ACKNOWLEDGED THAT P IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM, 50% RECOVERY DONE (PERSONAL OPINION)
ITS NEVER TOO LATE
MAKE A PLAN
KEEP READING.. KEEP POSTING.. KEEP COMING HERE..

IT HELPS..

[basha]

Sick of It

You are in the right place if you are looking for support as well as learning from other people experiences. Believe in your self that you can do it and you will be able to. I suggest starting a journal for daily record of your feelings and journey towards recovery. You will start feeling much better once you stop this and the benefits will be a lot more than you think. You are now in control of your life NOT P!!