I'm here, so I don't go there!

[BestShot]

Hi Everyone,

Yesterday I wrote a pretty long blurb and unfortunately I accidentally erased it before I coud post it. Anyway, I found this site a couple of weeks ago and I am so glad that I did. I have been viewing "P" for about 30 years now. Recently, I decided that I wanted to get away from the stuff. I managed to go 4 months without any of it but had a 1 day relapse about 2 weeks ago. That relapse prompted me to find some support. It's hard to kick this stuff on your own. That brings me to where I am now...back in the battle and using this forum to help me in times of weakness.

I am 47 years old and have a successful career and a wonderful wife. She is aware that I am tired of viewing "p" and is supportive of my goal to stop. She knew that I was viewing the stuff as she would see emails from my "friends" who would send me things. One day I told here that I am finished with viewing those emails and she said, "Good!". So that battle begins.

Some days are better than others. I am amazed at how strong the pull can be to look at "P". Incredible. As you can tell from the title of this post, I come to TTF when I get that urge to go somewhere else. It's helpful.

I found that reading all the posts from other PA is incredibly helpful. There is something about knowing that there are other people going through the same ordeal that is very supportive.

I just want all to know that if any of you ever want to chat and I am around please send me a message. I find the one on one conversations incredibly helpful.

See you all around TTF,

BestShot

[healme]

Welcome to TTF BS,

I found that reading all the posts from other PA is incredibly helpful. There is something about knowing that there are other people going through the same ordeal that is very supportive.

I can totally relate to this as I had been dealing with my PA's addiction in silence for so many years in the past, this place is where I can feel safe. Safe from anyone judging me or judging my marriage.

I'm glad that you are here as this site will become you lifeline as it has for so many of us. Please try to encourage your wife to join us as it will help her to heal from this terrible addiction.

There is a lot of wisdom here! But only you can do the work.

H.

[maggie]

Welcome Best!

Glad to see you on board; I was a little worried you'd give up !
I know you've looked around the site a little already, but I think it's important to note the practical advice given by some of the men on here... i think it has its own thread on 'getting started'..but i know it begins with absolutely trying to remove ALL triggers from your environment... it's not possible to remove all triggers...so attack and eliminate all you can. As Rouby and others have said that means the porn lite too...that's disguised in the online news sites !!

K9 or some filter for your laptop
Phil and some others know how to filter your iphone too, i think?
crazy nonsense psswrds..hidden in trunk of car..so by the time you access it...the urge is over

** a game plan in place **

plan in advance how to deal with being alone...p is a solitary pursuit that isolates... be around good people
get out of the house
go for a walk
blast music..exercise...run !

Good luck Best Shot

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Best Shot

First and foremost, welcome to TTF sorry you need to be here, but very happy that you are here. You are in the right place to get the help you are seeking. All of us here, have the same goal as you do, and that is, to free ourselves from this addiction. We all do understand in what you are going through, and just how hard it can be at times, to rid ourselves from this crap.

If you are ready, then we are ready to help you. You are not alone, and you never will be in this, if you come here seeking help.
Maggie touched on it already, but a plan is the best thing you can have, to deal with this crap. This plan just needs to consist of things that you will do, when temptation does come around, and I will assure you, it will come around. This addiction will do all it can, to try to suck you up in it, now that you are trying to stop. Somehow, this crap has a mind of its own.

As I said, I am happy that you are here, and that you will come here instead of going to other places that can destroy your recovery in this addiction. But I would love to see you here more than only when you are struggling. I would love to see you here as much as you can be, so you can let us know on regular bases in how you are doing, because the more you write here, the more we can help, and the faster your recovery will be for you.
We want nothing more than a good life for you my friend. We want you to have this life that you are fighting for, which is a life without this addiction included in it. We want to see you become a new man, with a clean Heart, and a clean Mind.

So step up to the front lines in this battle, and get ready to fight a good fight against this beast, that has dragged us around for way to long now. As you engage in this fight, you can look to your left, or look to your right, and all you are going to see, is this new army, standing by your side, helping you with this battle. No one here has even been able to do it without help. We have all got the needed help here, and now, it is our turn to help someone else. We want that someone else, to include you.

I wish you all the best in your recovery. I have no doubt in my mind that you wont be able to do it. If I can do it, then you can too. We are not that far off in age. I am 55, been addicted since I was about 12, and I am over 9 months free from this crap.

LETS FIGHT THIS TOGETHER


Your fellow addict
Gerald

[TYC113]

BestShot, I am so glad that you have decided to join ThroughTheFlame. It is a big step in the fight, in my opinion, to come on and admit the addiction. I am a new person here as well, and though I haven't view P as long as you have been, I definitely understand how powerful it is to watch and relapse. It is a very strong impulse to do. But being here definitely helps. And you're right. The support here is so helpful to recovery. Just extending a welcome and support to you, Bestshot. I want nothing but the best and so does everyone else here.

Sincerely,

TyC