Hi, I'm new here...

[mary b]

Hi all, I'm so happy I found this site and I look forward to chatting with and making new friends here who are in or who were in the same situation as I currently am...I am the SO of a Sex Addict..I am feeling a lot of strange emotions and would love to share these feelings with and talk to others who have been there and done that...

[JenMac]

Hi Mary B!
Welcome to TTF!
I am sorry you have to be here, but I am so glad you have found us! I think you will find that TTF is a great place for you to be. I have been here for almost 17 months along with my H Mac. We have found TTF to be a true blessing in our lives. There are many wise and wonderful people here who have become very important to us as we move forward! I hope you will find it the same for you.
I encourage you to start a journal in the SO journal section. That will hopefully help you to put your thoughts and feelings down and to get feedback from others who have experienced what you have. We all know what you are going through, as we have been there ourselves. You are not alone!
Wishing you all the best as you begin to heal from this intrusion in your life Mary!
Take care of YOU!
Jenn

[mary b]

Hi Jen and thank you for the warm welcome! I'm still finding my way around here but so far I've learned so much just from reading alot of yours and other members' posts....I plan to start a journal and my hope is that with some ideas and reinforcements from others here at the forum that I will become a stronger person not only for me, but for my bf as well as we work our way through this battle.

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

Hi Mary,

I read what you wrote in Dawn's journal about your husband being a chat addict as well. I also read that it seems like he is dictating what happens and how and when. You asked for advice, so here's my 2 cents. I found out that my husband was a PA and chat addict which escalated to phone sx and a visit to a "massage" place ( he says he didnt go, I don't believe him). My husband didn't confess, I discovered it and drug the truth out of him. We nearly divorced. I set boundaries immediately. In order to have ANY chance, he needs to stop the PA/SA behaviors immediately and he needed to go see someone to work on this. We also put internet blockers on the computer. I set my boundaries, but he had to do the actions. He found the counseller, he found the 12 step program, he installed the blocking software, etc.

My 2 cents to you is your husband must take action. For people like our husbands who don't have normal boundaries and a normal sense of right and wrong when it comes to this stuff, they will do what they can get away with for as long as they can. If you put up with it, any of it, they will keep on keeping on. Your husband sounds like he has you right where he wants you. You are seeking him, and he is doing what he wants. If I were in your shoes, I would set a timeline and actions that you must see to give him a chance. Then that's it. Don't nag, don't get angry, just go about your life. If he doesn't do what he needs to do, then he isn't worth it.

Keep reading this site. Our stories are all fairly similar, and you will find you are not alone. I really hope that the one thing you realize is that this happened because something is wrong with your husband and has nothing to do with you.

[TooSensitive]

Mary, I don't have any addt'l words of wisdom to add to what the other ladies have already written. Sorry to know you have a need to come here, but glad you found us. It is the best website I know of for those of us who find ourselves needing such a place.

I send prayers and well wishes to both your h and you for healing, recovery, and times of inner peace.

[tntang]

hey mary we talked a little yesterday you r doing the right thing by being here and posting best of luck to u

[mary b]

Hi Tntang, I most definately enjoyed our talk here yesterday with both you and your g/f....I look foward to many more talks...

[healme]

Hi Mary B,

I too enjoyed our talk the other day....glad to hear you'll be posting a journal.

H.

[mary b]

Thanks H! My journal is already up..it's titled Mending the Whole in My Heart