Changing my life

[doodans]

Hi there,
I am new to this forum, but not new to sex addiction. As a SO I have learned a lot during this almost 2 years since finding out that my H had a "double" life.
I am finding my way to a better life. One where I am ME, not who I think others want me to be. I am not always nice and accomodating, nor am I always sad and angry. I have opinions that matter. I have thoughts that my H might not agree with...but I am me.
It feels scary to keep on this path for fear that there will be no one around after finding out who the real me is...I am still finding that out.
It feels scarier to go back to what was...living in fear and anxiety that I was never enough, and that things must be my fault, that I cause so much heartache and mistrust, that I in fact am so defective that I am a drudgery to live with...then when I comply, I am wonderful, fantastic even.
I am learning that I am a pretty good person regardless of complying to anybody.
Thanks for reading,
I hope to be able to contribute on this site and gleen others valuable insights as well.

[Charly22]

Welcome Doodans,

Sorry that you find yourself needing to be here, but glad that you have discovered this little oasis in the middle of the p and s addiction desert. I understand when you say scary to find out who the real you is. I have found myself in this new place, after dealing with all of this, found myself wondering where the heck did I go? What happened to who I used to be? Do I even want to be who I used to be? Nah.....but still got this blank canvas ahead of me. But I am glad that you find it even scarier to go back to the anxiety and fear, and glad that you seem to realize that you are a good person, and none of this is your fault. I hope you know that.

I look forward to reading and sharing in your journal that I hope you can start in the SO's forum.

[doodans]

Thank you for the warm welcome, it is appreciated.