Hello

[autumn88]

Why do you like them then?

Some of the women I'm referring to are in their young twenties, but others are in their 40's, 50's 60's, even my 80 year old grandmother has had crushes of a more than platonic nature on men in real life and in movies she's seen. She thinks Prince William is dreamy for example.

I am constantly surrounded by really liberal minded people though, and I'm a liberal arts major - so maybe the people around me are just more comfortable talking about their fantasies, and crushes. Thats my only guess. A lot of women as they age become less open about talking to their friends and loved ones, so that could also be why you haven't come across the same viewpoints.

[stillandagain]

are you kidding me?

why are you "here"?

(its a real question to a real person)

have you read the purpose of this forum?
people are working hard here to save their lives and relationships.
it is HARD work.
the struggle is REAL

we would welcome you to walk alongside on the road to recovery from addiction

[autumn88]

Whats so bothersome about what I said?

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

I don't compare liking romantic comedies to my husband's P and chatting addiction at all. I enjoy romantic comedies. I watch them along with other shows and movies. I can look at a person and know they are attractive. But, if that person was to come into my life to sweep me off my feet, it would be laughable and quickly discouraged. Why would I want a good looking stranger who's only appeal is their looks and ability to act over the person I swore my life to? That may be something a teen ager would do, but not something an adult would do.

There is so much to say, but I think Jenn already said it all. This is not a site to convince you P is bad or that you should give it up. It is a site designed to help people who know P is harmful in their life. So, if you are not convinced, then perhaps you are not ready.

I would like to point out that the few members who tried to "cut down to reasonable levels" instead of actually quitting completely, were not successful. Also, members who try to intellectualize P use and paint themselves as just open minded people surrounded by old angry puritans were also not successful. And finally, those who try to intellectualize P as ok as long as they could control it and use it non-compulsively, were not successful. These members also had every reason in the book as to why they should not tell their partner so their partner could make an informed choice about staying in a relationship with a PA. For some reason, the right to use P trumps the right for their partner to choose, every time.

Perhaps you should define what it is you hope to get out of this forum and your personal goals. If you want to quit P, then people can help you and support you. If you want to debate P use, then you will not find the help you need here.

It would be helpful to you if you spend some time reading the PA and SO journals so you can get some idea of the struggle both sides of this problem are facing.

*Edited below

I wrote the reply above before reading on a different thread that you are the SO of a PA. So, my former response doesn't completely apply. But, this is still a site dedicated to eliminating P from people's lives. So, debate on the morality and merits of P doesn't have a place here.

It would be helpful for you to define what you want to get out of this site. Also, does your partner know about this site? Does he think he has a problem? Perhaps you can share more of your personal story in your journal. Of course, you may find that this is not the site for you which happens sometimes. As of right now, it is hard to know where you are coming from, so it is hard for the other members here to give you support.