Moving forward

[mforward]

Hello,

I found this website a few months ago while searching about pa. I've always been fascinated with addiction and I have one of those addictive personalities. I reached a point a few months ago where I realized I don't want to live a life that is a lie. Pornography fundamentally is a lie; it is you wasting away your life watching a made-for-profit production that coincidentally reprograms you.

I am only 18 years old, yet the introduction of p goes back 7 years. My generation completely accepts pornography. There never is any questions asked about the long-term effects. I know for me, it was introduced as a way to explore your sexuality. It doesn't aid in any exploration, it leads just into anxiety and depression of ideals you can never match up to. The pictures and movies aren't real to begin with -- it's airbrushed and scripted -- and the fact it is becoming accepted shows something tremendously sad. We are ignoring the fact we are human; we need real people in our lives to which we treat as humans.

Studies have shown when the average male looks at a women, the only area that lights up in the brain is the same in which when a man looks at a hammer would: the "action" area. I believe porn has created this disconnect, and I'm not surprised when I see the number of anxiety and depression rates in our countries. We cannot substitute reality with virtual fantasy, and we cannot treat other human souls as objects and be at peace.

I have struggled through the years with the often-simple-but-complicated cycle of addiction. For awhile, you can rationalize it. "Everyone does it", "it's normal", "it'll make me better in bed", "women don't understand". But, below all the rationalization screams a quieter but at the same louder truth. "If anyone ever knew, I'd be humiliated", "This isn't natural", "I'm screwed up mentally", "I feel worthless".

I've made several commitments in the past three months, but I relapsed each time. It's very hard to stay on track when the few friends I've had don't see the problem. I've seen my struggle with anxiety and depression worsen, and it's directly correlated to use of porn. I've felt depersonalized, depressed, and struck with panic attacks. For such a long time, I've been able to rationalize and be oblivious to the cause.

I'm a porn addict and have been for seven years. I've seen the destruction it has caused in my own life, and in the lives of many good friends. I've seen it transform people into objects. I've seen it transform intimacy into stories for a person's own ego. I refuse to be held captive to a lie, even if my society embraces it. I refuse to treat human beings as objects.

I hope I can contribute something unique here, and it feels good to know that there are other human beings who have overcome this demon and realize what many have not yet realized.

Let's break the silence. Let's expose the lie. Live without secrets.

Best,
mforward.

[stillandagain]

welcome, mforward.

I know you will find this to be a supportive community. We learn from each other, care about each other, tell the truth, walk alongside.

You have found a good place to begin to move forward.

[JenMac]

Welcome Mforward!
I commend you for recognizing your problem and for being here at your young age! It shows me that you are a very bright young person!
I wish you all the best as you move forward in your recovery! You will find much support and guidance here!
Hope to hear so much more from you as you familiarize yourself with our site! There is much to be learned here and many wise and wonderful members to learn from.
Let the healing begin Mforward!
Jenn

[PER50NA]

"My generation completely accepts pornography" that is sad but true I am 19 years old and I know exactly what you are talking about its viewed as normal to watch P all day nobody even questions it if it were drugs or something like that people would freak out

[mforward]

"My generation completely accepts pornography" that is sad but true I am 19 years old and I know exactly what you are talking about its viewed as normal to watch P all day nobody even questions it if it were drugs or something like that people would freak out

It's true. It's so accepted that there is pressure to be watching p/thinking about sex all day, or else you have something wrong with you.