hey I'm also new

[Thunderdash]

Hello everyone,

It's been one week now since I stopped watching P which was a daily habbit for many years. I am 26 now and I think I started already when I was around 12. Parallel to the development of the internet my addiction developped gradually from non-nude pictures to explicit movies. Always more and faster and more kinky.
The strange thing is, until very recently I never even considered it to be an addiction.
I wonder now if my strong social anxiety which I've had throughout school is connected to my heavy P usage. I never talked about it to anyone, it was my best kept secret. I always felt insecure around girls, even talking about them or talking about sex was impossible (and still is difficult). It was something that only existed in my secret parallel world, but the shame/guilt and compulsive thoughts spilled over in the real world causing various difficulties for me.
A few years ago, I've become a Christian and realized that P is something bad, not just embarrassing to talk about, as before, but really bad.
Nevertheless, I could not stop it and I didn't want to. My thoughts were "well I don't have girlfriend or wife, but I need some release. This is not my fault, life is unfair to me, I have no other option" - thereby fatally confusing cause and effect.
The turning point was during a group therapy session that I am attending because of the social anxiety: By chance the subject P came up, and I learned that other people asked themselves very intelligent questions about the harm of P and that they were trying to reduce their consumption, some even found it repulsive. I was shocked to realize that in this regard I was the worst person in this room. Those people even were unbelievers. What kind of a Christian was I?
So I cleaned up my computer and haven't looked at P ever since. It feels like a new life, optimistic, free, with integrity. It's as if I have become sober and realized how crazy and twisted my life was just a short while ago. I wasted whole days and nights, how could I possibly think this was normal?
I haven't had any urges to succumb to it again, and I am confident I can keep this up indefinitely. For me, being a Christian is also a huge help in this regard, because I really count on supernatural support, since, finally, I am absolutely certain that I am walking in the path God wants me to be.


thats enough for the moment...

[Phil413]

Hi Thunderdash,

It sounds like you're off to a great start, and I'm glad you've joined us.

I haven't had any urges to succumb to it again, and I am confident I can keep this up indefinitely.

I certainly hope so, but I'd encourage you to put some plans in place for coping with those urges, just in case they do come. For instance, if you haven't already put a filter on your computer, it'd probably be a good idea to do so.

God bless,

Phil

[HopefulsRock]

Thunderdash... Welcome to TTF! That's a very uplifting story and it's encouraging to see a young man like you turn your life around in such a positive manner.

So I cleaned up my computer and haven't looked at P ever since. It feels like a new life, optimistic, free, with integrity. It's as if I have become sober and realized how crazy and twisted my life was just a short while ago. I wasted whole days and nights, how could I possibly think this was normal?

My friend these are wise words and your certainly headed in the right direction. Thanks for sharing and I hope you find being here even more help.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Hello everyone,

It's been one week now since I stopped watching P which was a daily habbit for many years. I am 26 now and I think I started already when I was around 12. Parallel to the development of the internet my addiction developped gradually from non-nude pictures to explicit movies. Always more and faster and more kinky.
The strange thing is, until very recently I never even considered it to be an addiction.

So I cleaned up my computer and haven't looked at P ever since. It feels like a new life, optimistic, free, with integrity. It's as if I have become sober and realized how crazy and twisted my life was just a short while ago. I wasted whole days and nights, how could I possibly think this was normal?
I haven't had any urges to succumb to it again, and I am confident I can keep this up indefinitely. For me, being a Christian is also a huge help in this regard, because I really count on supernatural support, since, finally, I am absolutely certain that I am walking in the path God wants me to be..

Thunderdash
I would like to welcome you here to TTF

First,=D> on your first week of freedom from this addiction. You don't know how good it is to see that you already have one week under your belt. this is a very good start, to many more days free from it.
Phil has already said two very important things that you should do. Have a good plan in place to help you in your recovery, and it is very vital for you to have a filter on your computer, if you don't have it already. you need this so you have no way of getting to your sites, when the urges do come, and yes they will come at times. so be prepared for them now.

There is no reason at all that you cant free yourself from this for good. No, you will never be cured from it, but with a good plan in front of you, there is NO REASON as to why you cant have this problem under full control, and not have it as a part of your life.

You said that you do not have a girlfriend, or a wife, so think how good it will be, when you do find someone that you want to share your life with, that you will not have this problem to deal with while you are in a relationship. All the time you spent spending on P, can now be spent on that special someone, when you find them.

Good luck to you in your recovery my friend. I would like to encourage you to start a journal of your own, and write in it, and share your recovery with us. this way we can see how we can help you. You are off to a good start, so please just keep it going strong