Rebuilding a new foundation...

[ReformingForHer]

Hi all.
This is my first post here to the forums...I'm not exactly sure what to put, but I'm hoping to find the right guidance and motivation to make sure my issues with PA are under control and/or resolved...
I'm on this site because I've recently come to terms with my PA. I'm willing to do whatever I need to do so that my long distance relationship with my girlfriend stands strong and builds more than what we have now. She is the person that directed me to this site, and so far a lot of the resources are extremely helpful for us.
Whatever help that can be provided by the members and staff of this site would be truly appreciated and well received.
Thanks for having me!

[JenMac]

HI Reformingforher!
Welcome to TTF! I am glad you have found your way here! I know you will learn lots while here and find much support.
I would just like to tell you Reforming, that according to your user name, you are making changes in your life for you SO (significant other). Now while that is not a bad beginning, you will hopefully find as you move forward, motivation within yourself, and make this journey about changing for yourself first and foremost. That is what has to happen R for the journey to have meaning and to have a lasting effect for you! Otherwise, as sad as this may sound to we SOs, it will only work in the short term. I have seen that happen R.
So, I am hoping that as you begin to browse around TTF and you listen to everyone's stories, you will begin to see yourself there and realize that you need to make these changes for your own wellbeing and self respect. That will be what makes this journey worth the fight!
Don't get me wrong R! This is not a bad beginning, in doing it for your SO. That is where my H started as well. He did it to save our marriage. But somewhere along the way, that changed. He started to learn and understand that this was in his best interest for himself. And that has been very powerful R! I hope you experience the same for yourself.
All the best R! Listen and learn! You won't be sorry you did!
Jenn

[needtoheal]

Welcome R,

Can't say it better than JenMac did. Reforming for your SO is a great motivator and thinking of her during times of temptation will help, but you have to want to do this for yourself as well.

Good luck

N2H

[IN NEED OF HELP]

ReformingForHer

Hello my friend, and welcome to TTF

I am glad to see that you came here for help with your addiction. If you are to be free from this addiction, you will need to make so many changes in your everyday life. It is a very hard addiction to overcome, but with that said, there is no reason as to why you cant beat it.
You will need to find a good plan to help you to rid yourself from this addiction.
You will need to get rid of any stash in hidden files that you may have on your computer
You will need to install a internet filter on your computer so you are not able to get to any of your old sites that you liked to visit.

This good plan that you need to make, is not one that you can download, buy from a store, or copy it from somebody else. this is because this plan needs to come from your heart. And if it is not in your heart 100% to rid yourself from this, then you are just wasting your time, because you will not get very far. I say this, because if you are doing this to just please other people to just make them happy, because THEY feel you need to do this, then you are doing it for the wrong reason.

Now is the time that you need to see what your triggers are, and then do what you can to avoid anything that can allow this to happen.

There is no reason to think that this can not be done. If you work the plan that you set before you, and STICK with it, there is no reason to give in.
If you get urges, put other thoughts in your head right away, and then get up and do something else.

Get rid of this addiction, and live a life without this sick nasty addiction.
Get ready for a fight, that you need to fight hard against, because this addiction, is very powerful, and is always waiting for the right time to attack you.

I just want to wish you the best in your recovery. Never say you cant do it, you are only kidding yourself if you say that, because YOU can do it.

[rosie]

Welcome!

HI Reformingforher!
Welcome to TTF! I am glad you have found your way here! I know you will learn lots while here and find much support.
I would just like to tell you Reforming, that according to your user name, you are making changes in your life for you SO (significant other). Now while that is not a bad beginning, you will hopefully find as you move forward, motivation within yourself, and make this journey about changing for yourself first and foremost. That is what has to happen R for the journey to have meaning and to have a lasting effect for you! Otherwise, as sad as this may sound to we SOs, it will only work in the short term. I have seen that happen R.
So, I am hoping that as you begin to browse around TTF and you listen to everyone's stories, you will begin to see yourself there and realize that you need to make these changes for your own wellbeing and self respect. That will be what makes this journey worth the fight!
Don't get me wrong R! This is not a bad beginning, in doing it for your SO. That is where my H started as well. He did it to save our marriage. But somewhere along the way, that changed. He started to learn and understand that this was in his best interest for himself. And that has been very powerful R! I hope you experience the same for yourself.
All the best R! Listen and learn! You won't be sorry you did!
Jenn

Jenn said what I wanted to say.

Do it for you, because you're worth it...