Starting my journey

[johnnyr]

I have been looking at P for about 6 years now and I need help. I discovered this site recently but tried to convince myself that I was ok without it. I now realize that I cannot fight this battle alone. I am a Christian and this is my secret sin that I do not tell anyone but am thankful for a place like this where I can trust people.

I am a single college student and am seeing the negative affects of P. When I have a lot on my plate or am bored or have an urge I usually resort to P. I try to fight it and occasionally I defeat it but that is not the norm. I am slipping further into it and want/need to get out. I am surrounded by people who tell me it is ok and natural but I know in my heart it is not.

Thank you guys here for this support. Any advice or words of wisdom would be appreciated.

[2frustrated]

Welcome to the beginning of your new life of freedom. No matter what, KEEP COMING BACK HERE. This site will be your touchstone, the place that helps you find your vision and stay with it.

You will overcome.

[presson]

I have been looking at P for about 6 years now

Well you have made the first and most important step of admitting you need help, stepping up, and finding it. I am a very skeptical person when it comes to believing that a person could overcome PA - but this forum has countered that skepticism in a couple weeks time.

I am also really uncomfortable with talking with my family, friends about this problem, so this site is a parachute for me.

When I have a lot on my plate or am bored or have an urge I usually resort to P. I try to fight it and occasionally I defeat it but that is not the norm. I am slipping further into it and want/need to get out. I am surrounded by people who tell me it is ok and natural but I know in my heart it is not.

Being depressed, bored, insecure, etc. all exaggerate the addiction, at least for me...which seems to only lead to more depression and insecurity. I rarely fought it towards the 10th year of my addiction, I just kept going until I hit rock bottom; that was a month ago, and then I found TTF.

Don't fret over the 'downward spiral feeling' one good week of being P-free will clear that right up.

Take what people around you are saying with a grain of salt, there may be some truth in what they say...but also remember your own experience with porn, and compare the two. It is a natural feeling to be aroused by an attractive person - but there is nothing very natural about porn. It is very strange indeed that our brains get bombarded with so much explicit content for hours on end. No one is quite sure what the constant effect of your body releasing excessive dopamine, adrenaline, and cortisol for hours on end, day after day...but they know its not a good thing, or natural.

I am confident that your days of being PA are numbered, no matter how strong you think your addiction is. There is one caveat, you have to be sincerely fed up with your hellish nightmare to the point you are truly ready to desire something more out of life...at least that's how it went down for me.

If you are ready, then get excited, you're life is about to change. If not, then do not worry, the time will come.