Fighting the fight

[Rockinastorm]

Hi TTF,

I am new here. I am a PA. I have probably been one for close to 10 years. I have so much to say here, but I am really overwhelmed right now. Well, I discovered this site about a week and a half ago. I have been coming here since then when I needed support. I am getting over the shock that PA is actually real. My SO is Waterlily327, and I hope that everyone gives her a warm welcome too. She is being so brave going into this me. We decided to coordinate joining this site on our anniversary. Some how she hasn't run from any of the stuff I have put her through.

I am here to change my ways and help others do the same. I've had enough of P. I know what it feels like to make yourself sick being torn between hating it and wanting it. I hope to make a lot of new friends on here and get support for me and Waterlily327, because we can't get through this alone.

[Beanhead]

Hi TTF,

I am new here. I am a PA. I have probably been one for close to 10 years. I have so much to say here, but I am really overwhelmed right now. Well, I discovered this site about a week and a half ago. I have been coming here since then when I needed support. I am getting over the shock that PA is actually real. My SO is Waterlily327, and I hope that everyone gives her a warm welcome too. She is being so brave going into this me. We decided to coordinate joining this site on our anniversary. Some how she hasn't run from any of the stuff I have put her through.

I am here to change my ways and help others do the same. I've had enough of P. I know what it feels like to make yourself sick being torn between hating it and wanting it. I hope to make a lot of new friends on here and get support for me and Waterlily327, because we can't get through this alone.

Welcome to TTF!

I think that you'll find a great group of people here willing to listen and support but also to call you on any BS that might be clouding your mind. (I know that this happens with me)

Read, participate and learn about this addiction. And I'll even encourage you to do what I find the hardest: be open with your SO about your feelings, struggles, triggers and pain. You might find (as I'm starting to) that it makes a big difference.

Onward and Upward

[JenMac]

Welcome Rockinastorm!
Good to see you have taken the first step in fighting this all consuming addiction! You will find TTF to be full of wise and supportive people who know exactly what you are experiencing in your recovery and the recovery of your relationship!
I think it is great that you and waterlilly have joined here together! There are many couples here who are walking this path together. My H and I have found that this is the best way for us through this difficult time. We have found TTF to be a true blessing to us over that past year.
I encourage you to start a journal in the recovering journal thread Rockinastorm. Then get ready to listen and learn! There is so much to be learned here.
All the best!
Jenn

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Rockinastorm

Welcome to TTF
I hate you are here, but I am happy that you are.
We will do all we can to help you. But you need to know that you do have a long hard road in front of you. but it is nice to know that you have support from your SO, to help you through this

If you want to be free from this, you need to make some serious steps in you life, and you need to do that now.

If you have any hidden P files on your computer, delete all of them now. if you wait for another time, you will end up looking at them

It is best that you have a internet filter installed on your computer. It is very important, that you have no way of getting to any website that can destroy your recovery

You need to learn what your triggers are. you need to find a way to kill those triggers when they come around,

Never allow yourself to watch any program, read any story in a magazine,or stare at anything that can get you to the point that you want to give in to porn.

You need to have a very good recovery plan in order for you. you need to make sure it is one that will work. Learn what you are going to do, when urges do come to you. Just have a plan for you to follow in your recovery, Once you have a plan that you know will work for you, make sure you stick with it, and work it hard.

If you don't work your plan, you will fail in your recovery. More times than not, anytime someone falls in there recovery, is because they did not stick with there plans of action that they put for themselves.

Never get comfortable in your recovery, because this addiction is very powerful, and can attack us at any time, and anywhere. So always be on guard, so you don't get caught up in one of its many tricks that it throws at us

Yes this addiction is hard to beat, but the good news is, that you can beat it.
One more point. If it is not in your heart to get rid of this addiction, I will tell you right now, that there is no way to beat it. It must be in your Heart to overcome this, or you will fail

Come here as much as you can, to read the journals here, and see how many have over came this problem they are fighting

I wish you and your SO the very best in your recovery, you can do this. The road is long and bumpy, but in time, it can get smoother for you

Good luck to you

[RobP413]

Hi TTF,

I am new here. I am a PA. I have probably been one for close to 10 years. I have so much to say here, but I am really overwhelmed right now. Well, I discovered this site about a week and a half ago. I have been coming here since then when I needed support. I am getting over the shock that PA is actually real. My SO is Waterlily327, and I hope that everyone gives her a warm welcome too. She is being so brave going into this me. We decided to coordinate joining this site on our anniversary. Some how she hasn't run from any of the stuff I have put her through.

I am here to change my ways and help others do the same. I've had enough of P. I know what it feels like to make yourself sick being torn between hating it and wanting it. I hope to make a lot of new friends on here and get support for me and Waterlily327, because we can't get through this alone.

Welcome! And guess what.. you and Waterlily are not alone in this! Millions of people out there deal with this problem in their relationships. Most of them do nothing about it or do not know what to do.

Although it is difficult to come here for the first time, I would ask you and her to take a moment when things get tough and be thankful that you took the first, most difficult step. Kudos to you and your SO for working hard to strengthen your relationship. Also know that you have the support and good will of many people in your journey.

All the best,
Rob

[Rockinastorm]

Thanks to all of you for making me feel welcome here. Admitting my PA even just to myself was horrifying, but I already feel safe here. I have a lot to read, and tons to write when I get my journal started.
I cant wait to make progress!
Thanks again for the support!

[waterlily327]

Thank you all for your welcoming words for Rockinastorm. He is being very strong...he is the one who found this site for us, and he took the step to download an internet filter on his computer this weekend (I set the password just to be safe--his idea). Everyone here has been so wonderful.

[WifeOfNewLifeMan]

Rock in a storm,

It is always a positive sign when the PA takes the initiative in recovery, which you seem to be doing. You are also including waterlily, which is also a positive sign. Continue to be the rock in the storm, and not a pebble in a stream.