This is going to be a tough journey and I need support

[mickey108]

So, here's my story and like many others, it started with looking at porn which led to the "M." It really did a number of my self-esteem, energy levels, etc. I tried quitting many times only to be sucked into it once again. I am now man enough to admit that I am a porn addict and have all the classic symptoms.

Anyways, I have been sober since Thursday last week - so approaching a week ... The desire to look at porn is really strong, but I have not succumbed.

I see many on this site have been sober for a long time and wonder how they suppress the strong physical urge to view porn and "M" Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I intend to conquer this addiction and stop convincing myself that it is normal.

Many thanks,

[JenMac]

Welcome to TTF Mickey!
I am glad you are here!
I know that there will be many who will jump in to support you on your quest for a better life.
You have taken the first step and that is no small thing. The fact that you recognize this is a problem that you need to fight is very encouraging!
Listen and learn Mickey! There is much wisdom here!
I am an SO here along with my H Mac. We just reached a year in our recovery yesterday. It has been quite a journey but well worth it!!
All the best!
Jenn

[stillandagain]

As an SO of a PA, I am learning that so much of this goes beyond the "physical urge." Blessings for the start of your journey of self-understanding. I hope that you experience much support here.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

mickey108
Hello and welcome to TTF
I have been on TTF now for about 4 months now, and have been free from acting out since I have been here. I am 54 years old, and I have a lot of years of my life that I have been a addict. this is not a easy road that you are on, but you can get through it. we are all here to help you, in anyway that we can. But you are the one that needs to do the work, if you are to even have a chance to beat this addiction.

There are many steps that need to be done to help you. make sure that you have nothing on your computer now, that you can run to, when you get urges, because you will have them. any secret files of stash that you may have, you need to get rid of them right now. many have thought that they were strong enough to keep a few flies of Pics, or Video, on there computer, but they soon seen that they where wrong, because they turned to them when they were tempted. So please delete ALL files now

I f you do not have a internet filter installed on your computer, please install one. many use K9, it is a good program, and it is free to use. this way, when the urges do come, and you want to start clicking away to you spots, you will not be able to get to them.
I for one, in the beginning, thought I was strong enough to not need one, but I was wrong, I almost slipped back into porn, so now,I do have on installed on my computer. THIS IS A MUST.

Do not kid yourself thinking that you can beat this addiction on pure will power. what you need to do if you havent already done so, is to work a recovery plan that is good for you.
Learn what your triggers are, and see what you need to do, to
avoid them.
You may need to change the types of movies that you watch now, so you dont get tempted
Only you know what it is that you need to change in your life, to help you with your recovery
Always work your recovery plan, and work it hard. if you find that it is not working for you, change it. This is a key thing to help you with this addiction. YOU MUST HAVE A REAL GOOD PLAN IN STORE FOR YOU.

Though this is a tough addiction to beat, You can do it. Sometimes we make it a lot harder on ourself because we dont stick with our plans that we set up for us.
If you get urges in you mind, change your thoughts. walk away from the computer. just do something to get your mind off the bad thoughts.

You are not here along my friend. you now have many here to help you fight your battle. We cant fight it FOR you, but we can WITH you

Find the right tools, weapons right now to use on this beast that we are fighting. I can guarantee you that if it is in your HEART, to beat this addiction, then you will beat it

You already have about a week clean in your recovery, and that is so very encouraging to us here. Keep fighting this beast, get rid of him now. It is a wonderful feeling when we are staying clean from this

I wish you the best in your recovery. we are all rooting for you mickey

[mickey108]

Thanks for all the support everyone .. I am starting to think about my triggers and I suppose loneliness is a big one... Interestingly, I have started exercising when I get the urge or working on things around the house ... It's going to be long recovery, but you know - I think this forum is going to help a heck of a lot. I also need to download a computer filter on my computer as well and set a goal for myself ... perhaps a reward when I hit various milestones.

Just curious what kind of withdrawal symptoms people had when they stopped 'M' to porn. I am most worried about those and if I knew what they were, I could prepare myself.

[Zachary]

Thanks for all the support everyone .. I am starting to think about my triggers and I suppose loneliness is a big one... Interestingly, I have started exercising when I get the urge or working on things around the house ... It's going to be long recovery, but you know - I think this forum is going to help a heck of a lot. I also need to download a computer filter on my computer as well and set a goal for myself ... perhaps a reward when I hit various milestones.

Just curious what kind of withdrawal symptoms people had when they stopped 'M' to porn. I am most worried about those and if I knew what they were, I could prepare myself.

Exercising and housework are great ways to channel negative energy. Once the urges go away, and they will in time, then you have to start looking at the root causes, of why you were addicted, why you found P so appealing in the first place. But all things in time. Identifying your triggers is a great step, though.

As for withdrawal symptoms, I became cranky, irritable, moody and even sometimes aggressive, but over time all these things have gone away as my brain re-adjusted to not having the chemical of high of P/MB. It all takes time. Start a journal. Writing out the trials and triumphs helps me more than anything.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Thanks for all the support everyone .. I am starting to think about my triggers and I suppose loneliness is a big one... Interestingly, I have started exercising when I get the urge or working on things around the house ... It's going to be long recovery, but you know - I think this forum is going to help a heck of a lot. I also need to download a computer filter on my computer as well and set a goal for myself ... perhaps a reward when I hit various milestones.

Just curious what kind of withdrawal symptoms people had when they stopped 'M' to porn. I am most worried about those and if I knew what they were, I could prepare myself.

As for withdrawal symptoms, I became cranky, irritable, moody and even sometimes aggressive, but over time all these things have gone away as my brain re-adjusted to not having the chemical of high of P/MB. It all takes time. Start a journal. Writing out the trials and triumphs helps me more than anything.

I think that Zachary explained this very well.
As Zachary said, it does take time. The thing is, that you just need to know when you are having theses withdrawals, and do something about it. It is times that this, when the withdrawals are present, that if we dwell on them, can get us in a depressed state of mind.

So just do something to calm yourself down, so you can go on with your day. Even if you just get up andbnana_dance around the room. what ever it takes just do it

As you start doing better in your recovery, you wont believe just how good you start feeling. I am 54 years old, and I can say, that I have NEVER felt as good as I do in this point of my life. It is a wonderful feeling being P free

[Teemo]

Mickey108,

There is a lot of power in choosing to quit, if your choice means getting help. Can you get help? Maybe a counselor? Maybe an accountability partner? I have both. And this site will be an amazing source of strength and wisdom for you. Start a journal. Share your victories and your defeats. And take the advice that is offered.

As far as preparing for the rough times when urges are pulling at you - I agree with INOH that it is not about willpower. It is not about fighting it with any logic or discipline. It is too strong for that. For me, I have to keep turning it over to God, and keep following my plan, doing the work that I know I must do. I have adopted some rules that help me avoid the looking and lusting that feeds my addiction.

Symptoms? Well, a big part of withdrawal for me has been the obsessive reasoning that says "It's not that important. It's not really a problem. It's normal. It's good for you. It doesn't hurt anybody." None of that is true, but I can't think my way out of trouble. I have to take action. And the urge always passes if I choose to let it. Eventually it gets easier. But it is sneaky, and it will overwhelm you if you get complacent.

Teemo