Hi all thank god for this support website

[Mooga85]

Hi all

I'm a newbie. Partner to my hubby who has a PA.
I found out wed just gone he admitted it to me
After I found links to porn websites.

I'm 25 and 28weeks pregnant.

He has been stripped of his iPhone and laptops.

Therapy begins 4th April

He has admitted it to work colleagues and both
Of us have talked to his boss who have all
Offered amazing support.

My hubby cold turkey behaviour I'm struggling with
Please help!

Many thanks

Mooga x

[JenMac]

Welcome Mooga!
I am glad you have found us! You are in the right place!
Mooga, in these early days I know you will be feeling a little shell shocked and so very alone. It took me almost a month of that to find TTF so I am glad you have found us much quicker! I hope you will find TTF to be the blessing that it has been to my H Mac and I!
It is great that you have others around you who are offering support to both you and your H. Perhaps your H will be joining us too?
Mooga, it is important for you to take care of yourself at this time, especially with your little one to consider.
The road is long and hard and an emotional rollercoaster but it is important for you to know that this is your H's problem and while you can be a big support to him, this is his problem and one that the is going to have to work to find the strength to get past.
Mooga, please find ways to be kind to yourself. Speak up for what you need and take the time to heal for yourself. I know that we can get buried in this if we are not careful. Please try to not let that happen to you!
Looking forward to hearing more from you!
It is a difficult place you find yourself in but it can get easier as time goes on. The early days are tough Mooga. I remember them well. But I am here one year later, and I can tell you that the journey was difficult but we are in a much better place, closer, stronger and wiser than before.
All the best!
Jenn

[Mooga85]

Hi Jenn,

Thank you so much for your response to my thread.

The thing I struggle with the most at the moment is my hubbys emotional mood swing/tantrums as having had his iphone and all internet access taken away at home. He has net access at work but thats for emails so he independantly has no control as to what he can or cant do with it.

We play together on the Wii Games console to take his mind off things or watch funny films together but I think he resents having what he considers HIS property taken away but then on the other hand knows that its too tempting so hes obviously battling with himself.

I mark on the calendar every day that goes past hes avoided another day of using the internet at home and its been a week today :) He has a meeting with his boss on the pornographic addiction issue and the fact guys from his job bring such filth into the work place. I spoke to his boss directly saying that therapy is expensive and we cant afford to keep having him exposed to porn at work because its not helping him at all. His boss seemed very shocked this was going on and very supportive to my husband saying the lads def should not be bringing such material into work or looking at it in working hours he was not happy bunny.

The difference with my hubby though is he would shun porn brought into work saying its wrong etc but then go away and do look at it quietly at home behind my back!!

He knows he has royally screwed up this is the second time the first time it was loads of links on youtube I found hed saved but before we had got together so I accpeted it was a pre-relationship fetish thing but after this time he definately knows if he does it again he will be out on his ear and wont be able to have access to our baby daughter as im not running the risk of her ever being exposed to such filth. So he has a massive insentive to stay away from internet porn.

Our sex life I have to say has improved immensley since all of this came whereas before he would lose his erection frequently while we made love. Whereas now everything is normal, I think the burden of having done what he did and not being able to tell anyone was the main factor in the cause of this. Now its all out in the open he feels so much better and confident and its showing in all areas of our relationship. He will come and talk to me if hes feeling anxious or guilty about want to get his hands on his iphone or laptops but I told him thoughts are just thoughts and after we chat for a while and he calms down he feels better.

Therapy begins 4th April we decided to go privately as appointment on nhs for counselling can be months apart its rediculous!!

Emma,