Im new here

[sungoddess]

Hi I am new to TTF and am a spouse of a PA. I am also sober 19 years. My spouse was also sober and just went out.. Life is not seeming very easy right now.. Just need some support!!!! Right now I feel very sad, angry and like there is no trust between us. Would love some advice or just some good old support!! Thanks!

[Zachary]

Welcome to the site! You'll find lots of support and information here, and everybody is always ready to help out. I'm so sorry to hear what's happened between you and your SO. Getting him to admit he has a problem is a big first step, then getting him on here is a great second one. Keep the lines of honest communication open. Let him know how you feel and what his addiction is doing to you and your relationship. Depending on how he responds to that, you can move from there. For now though, courage. Here's hoping for the best!

[sungoddess]

Thanks Zachary! I feel like we have gone through all of this so many times I just am waiting for the other shoe to drop. We have gone through the PA several times, me always just finding out, then him admitting. Also His addiction. It has been several times and I said last time I couldnt do do this again, and here I am... Once again.. I told him that I dont deserve this and neither do our kids. I just feel like I am waiting for it to happen again and I feel sick about it.. I have never gone out and used again so I dont understand that part of it. Especially when it is said that you can loose your family over it... I guess im feeling sad and a little depressed right now.. I dont really know where to go from here. I have no trust in him. I guess that will come with time but it sucks for now...

[Zachary]

There's a lot of good resources here. Counseling groups, good discussions about accountability software for your computer, everything you might need. Talk to him, see if he's willing to join, to stop hurting you. The healing can begin from there.