sneaks up

[blindside]

Hello,

I am incredibly confused right now. I spent 15 hours of the last day and a half binging. The last time I did that was 3 months ago. I have been using porn between then and now because I did not think it was a good idea to stop cold turkey. I guess I know now that it has to be all or nothing. What I am quite shaken by is the surprise manner in which it snuck up on me.

What I am confused about is how to go about rebooting. What are the parameters. I am seeing a girl and the relationship is a healthy one but We are not at the point where I can share this with her. Should I abstain from sex? Should I stop all masturbation altogther and avoid orgasm? I am so afraid that stopping all sexual activity will only lead to further binging. How have you guys gone about your initial recovery. I am stressed out man! Thanks in advance for your comments. I am willing to do what it will take.

[Timertin]

I believe you have made the correct first move, you are aware that P is unhealthy, that it is serious. I am new here myself, I learned to put a K9 filter (it is free and easy to install, if you check your normal healthy sites and have them O K ed, eg facebook, by whom ever you trust to put the password on the K9 filter, it will be of no use if you have the pass word) .. .so K9 filter on computer, I learned that this site has many people that have recovered from P for long periods and they write about how the do it. I have to watch what I view on TV alone, I have to focus in the morning and remember to keep my thoughts healthy, when they get wild, I stop and do meditation. I don't even have a week, didn't have the K9 filter on either though, if you have any stash, destroy it, I believe you can get a sponsor off of this site too, or in a P or Sex recovery in you area is even better. Do what they say, be honest about your thoughts and actions. This is all I know, others experiance will help you, read all you can on this site. Thank you for posting

[blindside]

ok. i know i need to devise some sort of plan to help myself in the long run but at the moment i am still suffering from a lack of clarity. The last two days have been almost like an out of body experience. I feel like any second I could have a complete breakdown. From research I am coming to the conclusion that this may just be withdrawls. I know i need to go the whole nine yards. Get a sponsor, devise a definition of sobriety that works for me, install a filter, learn to fulfill my need for stress reduction and happiness through other activities that do not harm myself or anyone else. Right now though, I'm just dealing with this feeling of being dazed. Has anyone else had this experience? It's never been this bad. Thanks for your support Timertin.