Hello again

[blindside]

Hi AJP2008. I just joined this site and posted a hello. I guess reading your message helped me identify with my worst fear as well. It's always the "times after" that you worry about. I liken it to the feeling of being on the edge of a water slide. Even if you're not going down yet the slightest push and you go sliding down! I'm still learning the ropes myself. I've had a few failed attempts to quit. I know now that the reason for failure was not recognizing the full extent of the problem each time. Every time I have an incident that interferes with my life enough to cause me to pause and think (such as right now) I think about what worked last time and what did not. I try to learn from my mistakes and just try to have faith that at the very least I have taken 2 steps forward with 1 back. I think the fear of being weak a couple of weeks from now is what we all need to deal with. We need to realize that there isn't a moral implication if we fall again but a physical problem with one of our body's organs: the brain. And just as with training any part of the body it takes time. Fearing failure won't make the inevitable not happen. Not fearing it might not make the situation any better. But at least if we don't kill ourselves with guilt we will be on top mentally when the time comes to deal with a relapse. That's just my two cents.

Saturdays and Sunday's are always hard for me, too many times when free time sneaks in and I want to venture onto the Internet for porn. It went ok, still a little guilty after last Sunday so this weekend will be easy. It's the times after that I'm not looking for to.