Glad to be here

[ABC]

Hi everyone,

Just a quick note to say that I am really glad to be here and thankful for a site like this.

I have been struggling with P since I was in my early teens. Now that I am in my 30s, working on the computer all the time, it is a real challenge to stay clean and I find myself periodically falling into the trap of online P, with the usual cycles of guilt, attempted repentence and return to the same old rubbish.

For me, P addiction (for that is what I have) is definitely a destructive thing. When I am overcoming it, I feel healthier, more alive, more confident and more spiritually awake. When I am not, I feel the exact opposite. I believe P does negatively affect my relationship with other people and God.

I am married, happily, with two children. I foolishly thought that getting married and having a healthy sex life would reduce the temptation for P but actually that did not happen.

I need help to overcome this beast, one day at a time, for the long term.

Thanks for this community!
APL

[JenMac]

Welcome to TTF APL!
I am glad you have found us! I know you will find much support here.
I am an SO here who has been a member for the past 10 months, along with my H Mac. We have found this site to be an amazing source of comfort, support and friendship. It has been a Godsend to us both in our individual recoveries, as well as to our relationship.
I encourage you to start a journal in the Recovering journal thread so that you can begin to put down your thoughts and struggles. I know that was very important for both my H and I throughout this period. Read both in the recovery journals as well as the SO journals. There is a lot of wisdom to be gained by doing that. Many here believe a filter for the computer is a vital part of their recovery, especially in the beginning. K9 is free of charge and seems to do a good job for a lot of us.
Not sure if your wife is aware of your problem but if she is I would encourage you to invite her to join us here. There are a lot of wonderful, wise SOs here who would jump in to offer support and friendship.
All the best to you APL as you begin your journey to change your life! This can be the best thing that you will ever do for yourself! Jump in with both feet! Artguy adopted a 'Relapse is not an option' attitude, and there have been many here who have have followed his lead. I hope you will too!
Keep coming back!
Jenn

[Amethyst]

Welcome APL -

i am brand new myself - have struggled with P since a child/teen as well - and then when the internet came along it just opened up a whole new can of worms - i feel really good about this site and the sense of support and uplift it has given me so far - i pray it continues to do that for me