Hello to everyone: New member

[jeffinjapan]

Well I guess I am taking the first step in the recovery process by admitting that I have a p addiction problem. Too many times have I lied to myself by thinking that I did not have a problem. As I fast approach another birthday I realize that I cannot keep living the lie that I have been living.

What made me decide to join now? I can't put my finger on that exactly. I have thought about quitting p and mb so many time in the past, but after a day or two, I was back staring my old friend in the face.

While waiting for approval I have read many of the other posts and realized that I am not alone in my struggle. Today marks day 1. I hope like many of you to reach milestones that right now seem impossible.

The longest I have gone without p and mb since I started down the wrong path was 6 weeks. That was when I was in basic training for the military. The good thing was that I was so busy and at the end of the day so tired, that not once did those thoughts cross my mind. But that was so long ago.

I was one of those that believed that I was not hurting anyone with what I was doing, but I now realize, I hurt so many, most importantly, I was hurting myself. I often thought, I don't drink, smoke or have any other vices, so why is it that I cannot control this vice. After looking at p and doing mb, I would immediately tell myself that I had to quit, but that only lasted so long. Once the act of mb had reached its purpose I no longer felt that urge. Sometimes the urge would not be there for a day, but sometime it return in an hour.

Now I face a long road. This road will be filled with many forks. With the support of others, I hope to take all the correct turns and make my life whole again. I don't want to think about all the time and money I have wasted on my problem. I want to realize that I have a problem, but I want to make that problem a part of my past and work toward a more promising future. I have so much more to say and I am sure over time I will have much to say.

In closing, I am so happy to be here and to know that I am not alone in my struggles. Thanks for reading my post.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

jeffinjapan

I would like to welcome you to TTF
I am sorry that you you are here, but I am glad that you are here, because this is the first step in your recovery. You are right when you say that you have a long road ahead of you. This addiction is a long slow recovery, but it can be done.

In order to beat this Monster, we need to put up a good fight with it. We need to do whatever we can to never allow this beast, to ever enter our hearts again. We need to make so many changes in our life, if we are to even have a chance at beating this addiction. That road you are talking about, not only has a lot of Forks in it, but it has so many Bumps and Potholes to be in our way. If we are in a car driving, and we see all these, things on the road, we try to go around them so we dont do any damage to our car. It is the same with the road we are on to beat this addiction. When we see that there is something blocking our road to recovery, we need to find a way to steer around them, so we dont do anymore damage to Us, to our Hearts.

This addiction is around us no matter where we are, or what we do in life. Their are alway triggers of some sort, that can set us off, and destroy everything that we are working hard at. So now is the time, for all of us, to look at ourselves, and try to see what it is in our life, that can cause us to even want to act out in our old ways. We may need to change the way we think about certain things. We mat need to change what we view on TV. We may need to change what reading Material we like to look at. And we may need to change the way that we view woman, when we see them walking down the street. To beat this addiction, It is all about reconditioning our HEART
So here it is, day 1 for you. Now is the time to put on ALL of your protective gear, and get ready for this battle. Each day that you beat this thing, You will start feeling so much better about yourself.

You are not here alone Jeff, you have many here that wants to see you come out a Winner.
We are here to offer you the best Encouragement and Support that we can

Good luck to you my friend in your recovery

[rosie]

Welcome buddy, you are among friends here.

Congrats on taking the step to get rid of P from your life, I wish you every success and much love on your journey.

Nothing else wise to say :P So, see you round the boards hopefully!

:)