Hello

[Jon]

Hello,

I am a PA. There! I’ve admitted it!

I have been a PA for years, ever since I first got an internet connection really. OK, I did look at soft-core pictures when I was a teenager but the adictive style behaviour started after I got onto the net. (I’m not saying the soft-core was “OK" BTW, its just that comparing the stuff I had then with what I find on the internet is like comparing a puddle to the ocean.) In the 13 years since then I have been in a constant cycle of:
1. looking for P
2. Feeling guilt / self-disgust / hypocrisy
3. Destroying my P collection
4. Promising myself faithfully never to do it again
5. Go back to step 1.

In this process I have:
1. Put at risk my relationship with my wife and children.
2. Risked my job (always turning up late due to 2am P sessions, even downloading stuff at work occassionally)
3. Risked my reputation
4. Cost myself I dont know how much money on paysites.
5. Spent VAST amounts of time downloading P.
6. Caused myself immense stress and depression

Yesterday, I got to the guilt / self-disgust stage again and thought “well this time lets try something different” so went onto Google and did a search which came up with TTF.

So, today is day one of my PFL (Porn-Free Life!)

Jon

[mell]

Hi Jon and welcome to TTF,

You will recieve support here from PAs and SOs who have 'been there'. I would advise you to read some of the PA's journals and check out the articles on the site. From there, make a plan and start a journal.

Wishing you the very best in your recovery. Keep coming back.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Jon
Just want to stop in and say welcome to TTF. No matter what your struggles may be, there is always someone here that can relate to you, and in what you are going through. All we can do here at TTF, is offer Support and Encouragement. It is a good feeling when you know that you are not alone here with this addiction. Look at today as being the first day of your recovery. You will come to see, what you need to do to get this Monster out of your life. As you go further in to your recovery, you will start feeling so much better. This is a tough road that you are on with this addiction, but you can find this road getting a little smoother, each day that you are porn free.

Now is the time to try to fix YOU. Try to learn what your triggers are, and continue to work on your recovery. I t is very sad, that US men, wait until we have lost everything, and everyone that we love so much. As you start working on you, and changing you, You will be able to try to fix your family. We have put them through so much pain, and we not nothing more than to make them feel better about themselves. But we can not even try to heal them, until we starting healing ourself.

I am sorry you had to come here, but I am happy that you realize that you do have a problem, and you want help.

As Mell said, come here and read the journals form addicts, and from the SO's. It will be a big encouragement to you if you do. Also it will be good to start your own journal. In this you can write your struggles that you are going thru, and as others read it, they can offer whatever help that they can

I wish you the best in your recovery