Hi, I'm an SA Partner and I need support

[mali]

How can i recover from constantly discovering my SAH activities online???
I am most distraught by the sheer volume of info online.
Has anyone else found themselves lost down this dark path?


Feeling down after talking with my SAH, he seems to drag joy out of my life.
I feel the need to get a tattoo with "Faith, Love, Strength" on my wrist, to remind me that i can do this recovery too.
I need some one or where to express my feelings.

Life story: Been with SAH for 11 years, 2 of them married.
Constantly find out more about SAH everyday.
I confronted him about his verbal relationship with his female co-worker.
I asked him to seek help, which he finally did after I threatened to divorce him.
I don't believe that he can recover, but hate the thought of being divorced during my best year of my life.
Best year: I have a full time teaching job, going to grad school full time, and thought I was happy.

[Crisodian]

Mali,
First, a warm welcome to TTF. I am the SO (wife) of a PA who has been in recovery and relapse free since September of 2009.

The first thing I will tell you is you are not alone. There are many of us here who have walked this same path. The second thing I will tell you is that you did nothing wrong, this is not your fault and this is his addiction to deal with.

It sounds like you have already given your H an ultimatum. Many of us here found we had to do the same thing in order for our addicts to "see" the damage they were causing us with our addiction.

Something that has helped many here is drafting a letter and communicating what P has done to you, how it makes you feel, and put in writing the damage his addiction caused. Another thing you may consider, is a written list of boundaries of what you will and will not accept from him during recovery. The addiction may be his, but this is your home, your life and your marriage as well. You have a right to set some rules of what you will and will not accept.

I encourage you to start a journal in the Partner's Forum. There you will get support and input from others here who are walking this path towards healing.

There is light at the end of the dark path. Sometimes, the relationship can be healed and be stronger. Sometimes, it can't. Either way, it is so very, very important that you seek healing for yourself.

Find a path to peace,
~C~

[JenMac]

Hi Mali!
Welcome to TTF! I couldn't say it any better than Cris already has but I just wanted to jump in to let you know you are not alone in this. So many of us have experienced what you are experiencing.
TTF has been a lifeline to both my H and I! We are both here recovery from this intrusion in our lives. We have come a long way in the 10 months since discovery. We couldn't have done it without the support and friendship we have found here!
I am glad you found us Mali!
Keep coming back!
All the best!
Jenn