Porn has ruined my life...

[thatguy]

I am 23 and have been addicted to porn for over 10 years. I first got into porn at a very young age and ever since then I have been somewhat obsessed. There has not a day that goes by where I don't think about porn and masturbating. The days where my mind is occupied for e.g at work or out with friends, I am okay however when I am at home the porn addiction takes over.

I think my porn addiction is due to insecurity, feeling unworthy and boredom. I am one of those guys who would choose a night in watching movies/playing video games (or MB to porn obv) than going out and socialising. I have never even had a proper social life. I hardly ever get invited to parties, hardly go out to clubs and don't have many friends. Girls have shown interest in me but the insecurity kicked in which than leads to porn, like a vicious cycle of misery. I have never even had a proper girlfriend. I have had sex twice however but both times were un-enjoyable.

It has come to the point where whenever I am at home I am locked in my room spending hours collecting videos/pictures. It is embarrassing and throughout my life I have been embarrassed many times due to porn. I have been caught by lots of family members and I just feel horrible, almost like a monster.

It has come to point where only extreme types of porn can get me off. Normal sex just doesn't cut it for me. I want to get to the point where my fantasies aren't sick and I can have enjoyable NORMAL sex with girls.

I feel as though porn has messed my life up, messed my health up and messed my mind up. I need to end this. Today is the day where I stop. I don't want to look back at my life and think of all the opportunities I have missed just by staying home and MB to porn. I get said when I think of all the time I missed where I could be out chasing girls, making money and having fun.

It ends today...

[JenMac]

Hey Thatguy!
Welcome to TTF!
You have taken a big step by coming here to TTF! You are to be commended for recognizing that you have a serious problem here, on your own. That really says something about you! It shows that you have the desire to step away from this soul destroying addiction! Now you need to find the tools to do just that!
There are many resources here for you TG! It is time to start to make your plan. Read the articles and resources pages. Connect with others that know what you are experiencing. Start a journal in the recovery journal thread. Have you thought about putting a filter on your computer? Many here have found that to be extremely helpful.
TTF is a great site TG! You will find lots of support and encouragement here!
Wishing you all the best as you begin your journey to a better life!
Jenn

[IN NEED OF HELP]

thatguy, welcome

I am glad too see that you have come here for the help with this problem. We at TTF will do all we can to help you with this. NO we can not cure you, but WE can give you so much Encouragement, and Support to help you along this road that you will be traveling on.

You said:
It has come to the point where whenever I am at home I am locked in my room spending hours collecting videos/pictures. It is embarrassing and throughout my life I have been embarrassed many times due to porn. I have been caught by lots of family members and I just feel horrible, almost like a monster.

That has happened to me, and im sure it has happened to so many other here. Porn is nothing but a time waster. It can and will take ALL the time, that we could be using for much more productive things. And that is why it has to stop.

JenMac has given you some very good tips in beating this addiction, and if you apply what she has said, that will give you the needed start in your recovery.

You are going too see that you are going to need to make many changes in your life, in order to beat this monster. You need to see what your trigger are, the things that make you want to look at porn, and not allow yourself to be in a position to get triggered. We need to be careful in what we do, because porn is very sneaky. It can sneak up on us so fast in many ways.

None of us here can ever cure you from this sickness that we have, but we can help. We can provide you with the much needed Support and Encouragement that you need to fight this. The one thing that is for sure, is that you are not alone here, we are ALL trying to beat this monster, and get it out of our life. It is a long road we travel on to do so, but it can be defeated. Just make all the needed changes you need to make, and start today, and you will be on that road to recovery

I will be looking forward to reading more from you. Until then, I wish you the BEST in your recovery

[sdf8]

but at the same time I feel real joy to know that i am not alone and that I can change this is great. tomorrow and this moment is the beginning of a great day. i have alway snew I was wiked smart and creative and capable of great things but liek a anchor around my throat this obession has robbed me of some many great things. thanks I cant but we can beat this thing

[NNHelp]

I have the same problem with my boredom leading me to look at P. I am 24 years old and I feel like a complete loser everytime I look at it. I think anyone making this step to join this site is making a step in the right direction. I have been looking at P since I was 17, since the day i bought my own laptop. It has haunted me ever since.

I encourage you, being young like myself, to quite this horrible habit now, before we get married. I do not want this to come between me and my future wife. I know i have to stop now.

Good luck and keep up the sobriety. You can do it.