Heya

[Lucrothe]

New here. I go by Lucrothe on the internet.

I'm 18, and my problem started about 6 years ago. For me, it's just incredibly surreal to be here. I've become a pro at "beating the system" so to speak in terms of getting caught. I was too good, and I didn't discover until a few weeks ago that I'm too good....for my own good. I tried to stop, for the sake of my relationship, only to find that I can't.

I didn't think I had a problem until then. There had never been any consequences. I have an addictive personality, so sure, I'd had P every day of my life since that day 6 years ago, but that's a level of normalcy for me until a while ago. I actually don't remember what I was like, or what this stage of my life was like, beforehand. It seemed under control, hence why it was such a shocker I couldn't actually stop, and also why it feels surreal to be here.

Right now I'm at the stage of trying to quit, but I keep stepping over my own feet every few days, even with small goals. I've cleared everything off my computer, destroyed anything I owned physically, yet somehow I keep tripping...

'M glad to be here. Here's to hoping for the best. :)

[RootedinGod]

Welcome, you came to the right place, I am starting this early in life is awesome.

[Phil413]

Welcome, Lucrothe! I'm sorry you have to be here, but I'm very glad you are here. This is a wonderful, warm, supportive community, and we'll all be glad to help you any way we can.

I've cleared everything off my computer, destroyed anything I owned physically, yet somehow I keep tripping...

That's a great first step, and one many people have a hard time doing. I'd suggest, as a second step, that you install an Internet filter, such as K9, on your computer. I think you'll find that if you put P out of reach, it really makes it much easier to resist whatever temptations may come.

Phil

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Welcome Lucrothe

Iam not glad that you have a problem, but I am glad that you came here.It is so Encourgening to see that you want to beat this thing at a young age. For that I =D> you

This is not going to be an easy fight. but yes you can come out of it being a WINNER. Since you are trying to beat this at a young age, hopefully it will be a little easier. Porn is a very sneaky addiction. Because no matter where we go in life, there are so many triggers that can set us off. And then there we are again, acting out. We need to change so many things in our life, in order to beat this and overcome this addiction. You are still young, but I tell you this, that if you do not get in under control now, there will be so many more damaging affect from it. Porn loves to destroy relationships. and it does a very good job in doing so. So now is the time to change. And just by you being here, you are showing us and YOURSELF, that you want to change, to get better, to stop viewing P. Stay away from anything that you know will put you in the zone to want to look. There are so many here that can Encourage you and Support you in many ways. I am not going to say too much, because I am hoping that someone younger than me that help you through this. If someone is closer to your age, they will be more alert to the struggles that you have.

I like what you wrote:

I've become a pro at "beating the system" so to speak in terms of getting caught. I was too good, and I didn't discover until a few weeks ago that I'm too good....for my own good. I tried to stop, for the sake of my relationship, only to find that I can't.

I am 54 years old, and i have about 30 years of P use in my system, my mind, and I always thought that I was to good to get caught. That was until about 63 days ago, I got a letter in the mail, that I was being sued for copy-write issue. I was CAUGHT downloading. Now try to explain that one to your Wife, or Girlfriend. It, being Porn, almost destroyed everything that I hap put in my relationship. And I do not ever want you to go down the same road that I am on at this point.

I want to see you at a nice young age, fight this addiction, beat it in to submission, and get rid of it FOREVER.

Come here and read as much as you can. there are so many people here going through the same thing as you are, who can help you so much. I want to see you doing all that you can to BEAT this beast up, and destroy it from being in your life

Good luck in your recovery. I will be looking for more to read from you

[facingthetruth]

Welcome,
I always say to new people how I find reading around this forum great to keep me reminded of what I'm doing here and what Im up against. Also I come here 1st when I come on line. I'm in the early stages also, just sober for 12days but thats a record for me so, its all good. Can I also suggest using a website blocker such as k-9. I find it helps when I start to surf a little randomly, its like a 'what do you think your doing' message. Best of Luck
FTT

[Lucrothe]

Thank you to all for the warm welcome and encouragement. Honestly made me feel warm inside and put a little hope where it was beginning to dim a little. Thank you to all of you also, for the K-9 suggestion. I put it into use almost immediately last night and it has been very effective. I never thought I would ever want to put a filter against myself on my own computer, but I can see already that it's going to be a great boon.

In Need of Help,
You're right. I do want to change. I want to be the best person I can be without the weight of this on me. Thank you for sharing your own story with me there. That just sounds like a frightening situation, and I have little doubt that if I don't change I'm on my way towards something similar myself. >.<

Just from browsing, this seems like such a wonderful place of hope and recovery. It's going to be a long journey, but I'm already glad to be able to begin it here. I look forward to getting to know you all better as time goes on.