Hello

[samski]

I am a recovering pornography addict, who has been succumbing to this behavior for the duration of my marriage. I am fearful that my marriage may already be irretrievably broken, but I want to overcome my addiction to pornography, whether my marriage is saved or not.

I am going to be posting my recovery journal, and want to overcome this and have a whole, meaningful life.

[IN NEED OF HELP]

samski

Welcome to TTF. I am so happy that you have found your way here. We are all here for our problems that we have, and we will help you the best way that we can Porn will destroy everything that we hold dearly in our lives. And it is so sad how we can allow something like P to rip the hearts out of the women we LOVE so much

I like you thinking on this, you said:
I am fearful that my marriage may already be irretrievably broken, but I want to overcome my addiction to pornography, whether my marriage is saved or not.

First I hope you can save your marriage because of this. But you are determined to fight this even if it can not be saved. at least you are showing that you want nothing else to do with P.

When you get your journal up, I will read it and post more their

Good luck with your recovery

[samski]

IN NEED,

Thank you, and I really do appreciate this forum. I need to be in the present every moment of every day.

I go to porn because I am afraid of my emotions, and I disconnect myself from them. Porn and mastubation ends up being the outlet to my emotions that I run from.

While I do want to be healthy above all, the thought of losing my marriage really scares me. I am so out of control of the situation that I have no idea what to do, other than confess where I'm at and get well. Although I don't really know what I am doing.

[Misty-Eyed Matthew]

Hi samski. I'm glad you have found a place where you can start your journey to recovery & self-healing. You won't find a better place on the net, if you have to be on a site like this. There are huge resources of materials to help you along, Plus a whole community of helpful & understanding people who are going through the same thing. There are several couples here who are dealing with P & trying to repair their relationship with each other. You are not alone. I hope you will start a journal & share your story. Again welcome to the family.

[FoolishMind]

Hi Samski, and welcome to TTF, echoing INOH, your mindset is spot on. Ultimatley you have to free yourself of this addiction for YOU. The rest will fall into place.

Im sure if you comminicate with your wife, and let her know you are really going to break things down and understand exactly what you need to do, she will see this as a huge positive. It may also really help her to use these forums too, as there are so many other members in the same situation as her.

I wish you the best of success in achieving your goals.

FM

[rosie]

Welcome! Sorry to see you are here, but glad to have you!

Where is your wife in all this? We would love to have her too.

Best wishes for you and your wife on this journey!

[facingthetruth]

Welcome,
I find reading around this forum great to keep me reminded of what I'm doing here and what Im up against. Can I also suggest using a website blocker such as k-9. I find it helps when I start to surf a little randomly, its like a 'what do you think your doing' message. Best of Luck

[samski]

Rosie - my wife is using SO recovery forums, but prefers that I own my recovery for the time being.