hello everyone

[Charly22]

I also sort of feel like I have to give him something so he is not tempted to cheat with a tangible woman. This is hard for me because I have never been one to tell someone they couldn't do something or to nag or impose lots of rules..I just want him to WANT to assess how much he distracts himself from me and by B's.

Hi Pixie, I think you are very wise and caring for being here. And I understand that you don't want to impose rules, nobody wants to be in that sorta role.

But it concerns me what you said above, about give him something so he won't cheat. This will only feed the sickness that this can become. I know. Not just sickness in him but in you as well. I tried to "allow" and I see now, after many many years of being stuck in this, how that was my biggest mistake.

I also had, and still have, a hard time with the communication. I learned here that it can be very helpful to write a letter. I also learned that I should not be accusing or name calling or any way bitter in this letter. Just straight up how this makes YOU feel.

[rosie]

Hey Pixie. I totally know where you are at. I used to think that if only I was more sexy, or if only he had P, then he wouldn't cheat.

Sorry, but this has nothing to do with you darling. It is absolutely NOT your fault in any way. And, P does NOT help stop cheating, I believe it actually encourages cheating because over time, your husband is becoming conditioned to be stimulated by women who are a) not you, b) not realistic, and c) degrade themselves for his sole pleasure.

Pixie: The sooner you realise that this has NOTHING to do with you, the sooner you can start healing.

Can I suggest you google for recovery nation and have a look at their partner workshop? I can PM you links if necessary.

Take care Pixie (hugs)