New Here

[Misty-Eyed Matthew]

Hi Everyone. My name is Matthew. I'm here to get some help for my addiction. I've been addicted to P since I was a teen. In the beginning it wasn't bad, but as I got older it started taking over my life without me realizing it. It spread like a cancer throughout my life,relationships, & my marriage. It has taken me a lot of years to get to this point in my life. I'm ready to see this addiction gone. It has almost led me to an affair with another woman, but I got caught before it could happen. I'm really thankful that I did get caught. I want to get back what I have lost. My wife & kids mean the world to me. I know I've hurt my wife through all this & its something I'll be making up to her & the kids for the rest of my days. My wife has chosen to forgive me, but she can't forget. Come Sunday (1-2-2011) I will be P free for 3 weeks. It hasn't been easy with my computer within easy reach, but I have endured. The temptation for P hits me in the morning hard & at night sometimes, but not as bad. My PA doesn't let me sleep very much, about 4 to 6 hrs if I'm lucky. I have tried to quit several times & failed each & everytime. There was always something to pull me back in. I think the longest I went without P was 2 months.This addiction is ruining my marriage, but thank God I have a wonderful, loving wife by my side. She is willing to help me fight this off, even if we don't stay together. I pray that we do & it would take a miracle for that to happen. As of right now, I've hit rock bottom. Any help will be grateful & returned. With the help of my wife, this forum, & the good Lord, I will be able to really start the long, hard climb back to being the husband, father, friend, & lover my wife deserves. One day, I hope to be proud to be able to look at man in the mirror everyday. My wife found this site for me, so she deserves the credit for me being here. Without her strength,love, & support I would not be here.

[rosie]

Welcome Matthew :) Congrats on taking the step to get rid of P from your life and your marriage.

TTF is great and I hope you get all guidance and support you need :)

Read through the journals..so helpful. Is your wife coming too?

Take care xxx

[mell]

Matthew,

Welcome to TTF! I am a PA.

You have come to a great place. I would advise you to read through some of the recovering PA's journals here and start your own. The support here is awesome, you will get some great feedback and encouragement.

Wishing you the very best in your journey.

[NewHope10]

Hi Sikes - and welcome.

I am an SO of a PA (sober for almost 4 months).

WOW...I've got to say that what I'm getting from your intro is your desire and willingness to recover from PA! Also...the love you have for your family - and especially the support of your wife. There are so many good reasons for your recovery...for YOU (first) - for your wife and children - for your mind, body and soul (and spirituality, if you are a believer)...to live a good clean life. Oh...I think there are a ton more reasons than what I've listed - and I'm sure you know what they are!

I know as an SO recovery is a very bumpy "ride" - and from what I can see from the PA's journals...the path is very rough. But its really (REALLY) worth it from what you will gain in your life!

It works if you (or any of us) work it!

Is your wife thinking about joining? I, for one, would highly recommend it!

Congratulations on being 3 weeks P-free! Keep coming back!

[hannah]

Well done Sikes, you found your way here. Take this as a turning point, you had to get to this point in order to recognise and so deal with it.
Wishing you every success. xxxxxxxx

[JenMac]

Hi Matthew!
I am glad you finally made it!! Welcome!
As rosie and mell said, TTF is an awesome place for you to be as you begin your recovery! So many wise and supportive people are here for you.
3 weeks is an awesome start!
I know you have been reading here for a few days so I encourage you to continue doing just that! There is lots to learn!
All the best to you and your wife as you begin your journey Matthew! It will be hard work but can lead to some very fulfilling and wonderful changes in both of your lives!
Jenn

[Misty-Eyed Matthew]

Hello, Thanks for making me feel welcome. I will start a journal within the next few days. My wife is also registered on this site, but I don't know how often she'll be on. I have been reading the articles & journals the last few days while waiting for my acceptance e-mail. I know now that I'm not alone. Here lately when I feel tempted, I come the site & read. What a good way to start the New Year off. :)

[paddingtonbear]

Hello there !

Think positive and enjoy the community here !

[IN NEED OF HELP]

Welcome Sikes17 to TTF

It is so nice to see you have come here for help. you can not be in a better place. what a wonderful way to start off a NEW YEAR. Wow 3 weeks free from this problem. That my friend is outstanding. just keep it up.. I am so happy that your wife is here to help support you through all this. Just by you seeing how hurt she is because of your P use, is a good determination to rid yourself from this problem. But one can only do it if we are doing it FOR OURSELFS. Keep up the good work.

MAY YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HAVE A WONDERFUL P. FREE NEW YEARS

GOD BLESS YOU BOTH

[HopefulsRock]

Hey Matthew... a belated welcome to you! You've come to a great community of help here at TTF and I'm sure we'll see you around town so to speak.

Also I just realized that your trying to Sikes me out with the name change! Lol, it was fun chatting the other night!