Newbie PA

[iwanttochange]

Hello all,

I found this site today and well what can I say, I have been reading journals and have been in tears at what people have been through.

I am now ready to admit that I have a problem with P. I have for years and i have now come to the point of no return where I must change or I will destroy everything in my life and I have put my wife through enough pain over the past 10 years with my own selfish ways.

I can't count today as day 1 of being sober as I used P and MB this morning but today IS going to be the start of my new life without P and MB and being the husband that I should be.

I will start a journal tommorow morning and share my experiences on this journey.

[jimmy78]

Welcome Iwanttochange!

This is a great first step you are doing... seeing the issue at hand, and most importantly, wanting to do something about it! Yes, the journals on TTF are quite moving to say the least, and they also help to show us that we're not alone and all combating these issues (whether it's the addict themself, or the SO of an addict).

Check out the resources page, as there are a ton of helpful tools that can help you along your way.

Best of luck, and feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk. I know what it feels like to know you're not being the husband you should be!

Jimmy

[jimmy78]

And certainly get that journal going! :)

[iwanttochange]

Hi Jimmy

Thank you for your words of support.

Life begins today and so does my journal.

[mell]

iwanttochange,

Welcome to TTF!

You listed some great reasons for quitting here. For me, I had to change for my own sake, not for my wife, kids, or anybody else.

One thing that really helped me out was to picture myself in the future with no family or friends and all the 'freedom' I wanted to act out. I pictured myself as a lonely and miserable slave to P. I do not want to be there. If I don't recover, that is where I will be.

Best wishes to you, looking forward to reading your journal.

[iwanttochange]

Hi Mell,

Thank you for the kind words, I have started my Journel in the journel section. Today is day 1 and I will try to post near on every day.

[dave42]

I'll go read your journal now. Welcome, Iwanttochange.